Maria Friström (00:00:01):
Like the lack of clarity. Mm-hmm. will leave you stuck. Yeah. And that we talk about all the time with the cochise of like, of course you will feel like this. And frustration if, number one, you don't know what your vision is and you don't know what your life, what you want it to look like. If you don't know what your strengths are and who you are and who you need to be, start there. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:00:27):
Welcome to A Better Life with Brandon Turner. That is me, where world class guests share their wisdom on building a better life. Join me as we explore the habits, the actions, and the beliefs that have guided their journey with the aim of helping you apply those lessons to your own.

(00:00:55):
Hello everybody, this is Brandon Turner, and this is not actually part of the podcast right here. Uh, this is an introduction to the podcast, which normally I don't do. But today I wanted to give a couple quick heads up about this episode. I guess you can call 'em a disclaimer, a trigger warning, whatever it was a, okay, so let me give you a backstory to this one. So, as we are putting together this new podcast, A Better Life, I had a good friend in town named Maria and said, said, Maria, let's record an episode and, and test it out. I don't know if we'll ever air it, but let's just try and see if we can, you know, do it. So this was actually the very first episode we ever did, and we sat in my sea shed and we started talking. And Alex, who was the creative director for the podcast, so as we're sitting there, he, he's still setting stuff up, still setting the cameras up, still setting microphones up.

(00:01:40):
We just started chatting and we quickly got into some really deep stuff, like before we even finished setting everything up. So we don't even have video for this episode, which by the way, we have YouTube coming soon. And it really, we got deep right away. And what we're talking about early on, I guess we, I just, I don't wanna like give away the whole show, but we started talking about is the, uh, loss of a child. Uh, and so I wanted to throw that out there in case there are people who maybe have sensitivities around that. I mean, it's kind of a, a warning for you all. It's such a powerful conversation and I would highly recommend everyone listen to it. Uh, we talk about a lot more than that, but just the first part of this episode, we definitely go into some heavy things.

(00:02:20):
I just wanted to give that, uh, warning out there for everybody. Uh, in case there's something you definitely do not wanna listen to, then maybe you wanna skip through some of that. But, um, I think you should listen to it. So with that said, like I said, we've got, uh, videos coming soon for every episode. We, uh, invested very heavily in the video side of this, so we've got a new YouTube channel launching very soon. So look for that. And, uh, yeah, if you're not following Better Life over on Instagram, we actually have an Instagram account for that as well. So at Better Life, you can find out about upcoming episodes and all that good stuff. So, with that said, we're just gonna start the episode and drop right into the conversation with Maria Free Strom. You know, your life is pretty awesome right now. I mean, here you are, you've got this, you've got this, you've got a bunch of rental properties, but you know, you travel around the world, you got amazing pictures. You were a model. I know, but like, walk us like, where, where was the bottom? Like where is the bottom? Uh, if you could look back on the last, how old are you today?

Maria Friström (00:03:10):
42.

Brandon Turner (00:03:10):
42. On the last 42 years of your life, where can you say like, that was the bottom? Yeah. And then you answer like, now, now I'm still doing hero's journey, but like, you might answer that a hundred different ways. You might go to the miscarriage part, or you might, there might be another bottom you want to go through. And that was just another, you know, like, there's a lot there.

Maria Friström (00:03:28):
Yeah. Can I correct you on something? Please, . I thought about like, please,

Brandon Turner (00:03:32):
Please,

Maria Friström (00:03:32):
. I thought about doing it later on the podcast itself, but so when you call it a miscarriage, yeah. It feels bad. Okay. Because she died. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. . So for me, that's a difference. Mm-hmm. and legally it's a difference. Yeah. So at a certain point it's a miscarriage, but when you go over a certain week, like in Finland, it's if you're 1500 grams or larger, the baby, or no, it's 500 gram, I don't know, but it's like a specific size of the baby, or, yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:04:01):
So I would love

Maria Friström (00:04:02):
That of the baby. That's a great, right. So topic, educational, like, so,

Brandon Turner (00:04:07):
And is that way in the us Chino, I

Maria Friström (00:04:08):
Don't know what it is in the US

Brandon Turner (00:04:10):
Because that leads into a really interesting discussion about abortion. Abortion, right. Like, which I don't necessarily wanna touch on, but I'm not, I'm not afraid of it.

Maria Friström (00:04:16):
Yeah. I'm not afraid of it either. Like, where do we, because I don't, I'm not even sure how I feel about that because of that experience. Right? Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:04:23):
Like, I hate when Yeah. This is like, mean, this is the topic right here. Right. But like, when you judge the situation based on whether you wanted the child or not, right? Like, that's a weird, like,

Maria Friström (00:04:33):
Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:04:34):
Chrissy, Tegan, and John, what's his name? John, uh, the singer. Um,

Maria Friström (00:04:38):
Mayor.

Brandon Turner (00:04:38):
Not John and John. Uh, no, not El John Legend. Right. Legend. Yeah. Yeah. When they, like, I remember Chrissy Tegan saying something about that, about like, shoot, what was it? I wish I couldn't remember the exact quote. We can look it up later. But it was something like, like, because they wanted the child, it was sad, but if they wouldn't have it would've been, it's just an abortion. It's like, how do, like do we, is that where value comes from? Is you wanting something like that seems weird. Yep. Like, is there intrinsic value at 1500 grams or whatever that number is, right? Like, yeah. Oh, now we can call it, what about 1499? Or what was the number? 1500? Like?

Maria Friström (00:05:15):
Yeah, I I think it's 500.

Brandon Turner (00:05:16):
500. So I 9,900 grams. It's not valuable.

Maria Friström (00:05:20):
Like I a week. Yeah. I think it's 20 weeks in Finland or something like that. Yeah. So if it passes that, then it's considered a death. That's what it is for us. 20 weeks. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then so, but on top of that, we didn't get a birth certificate. Yeah. Because she was still born mm-hmm. . So for me, it's important to talk about her being still born as opposed to like, versus a miscarriage. Yeah. I have, I've had those as well. Okay. A few. And this is different. Yeah. Right. So I, Millie I got to bury, like I gave birth to her, I buried her. It's, it's different than the miscarriages I had. So in my, my mind I'm like, it would be awesome to have, I, I got a gravestone, I got a grave, and I got to bury her. Yeah. But I didn't get a birth certificate.

(00:06:06):
Yeah. So when we went to pick her up from the morgue a couple weeks after she was born, it was my name Hmm. On the death certificates. And that was like, because a part of me died. Yeah. You know, like with her, and I'm like, it's black and white that I'm like, I'm dead. Yeah. So there's a lot that I kind of wanna unpack there. And, and maybe I at some point may be fight for to just be like, children that are still born. Yeah. Or just because they didn't come with their eyes open or, yeah. Um, because they didn't have that first cry. Yeah. They're still, they're still your kids. Like, it's hard for me not to say I have three kids. Yep. Right. And sometimes I choose not to.

Brandon Turner (00:06:56):
Yeah. I don't know if I've ever told anybody publicly this, but like, not that we're public yet, but like now that like, yeah. When we put in, uh, we did in vitro right. For Rosie and Wilder, and we put in Rosie, we put in two. Right. So now that was just an embryo, but we put in two and Rosie made it. Do I have a, do I have three kids right now or do I have two kids right now? Like Yeah. How do you count that? I mean, clearly was really early. Right? So like, you know, the conservatives in America would say, yeah. You know, at, at bur or at Conception, life begins and I, I fall into that camp. So I would say, yeah, I like, I believe, you know, I believe in heaven and I believe someday I'll be in heaven, and I believe I will like, like y'all have a kid there, right. Like,

Maria Friström (00:07:32):
Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:07:33):
But I gotta, it's like weird to think that, right? Because like Yeah. Why would Yeah. Cuz it's just, it's just tissue. Right. But,

Maria Friström (00:07:39):
Well, so in my mind it is a life that didn't happen. Yeah. Right. And with that comes grief. Yeah. And I think you should be justified to have that grief. Yeah. And I think it's something that I've been sad for and I, I feel the same way. Like, how, how do I count? Like I've had four miscarriages and I've given birth three times. Yeah. Well, I have seven children. like what? Yeah. Uhhuh . Right. I've, I've wanted them all, but, um, somehow for me, it's, I talk about three. Yeah. And I, I don't know why. Yeah. Maybe it's because the way you're treated when you go to the hospital and, uh, one of the miscarriages was week 10, I think, and it was a missed miscarriage, so it didn't, the baby didn't come out naturally, but, so I had to go in and he is so, they're like, well, this happens all the time, . Yeah. You know, I'm like, well, not to me. Not to me. Not to me. Yeah. And this is, this is a, a really, really big, big thing for me. So

Brandon Turner (00:08:46):
How, how do you, I mean, like, how do you even deal with Columbia? Let me ask it this way. Like, as a person who's gone through that with a, with a child, you know, stillborn, is that the right phrasing?

Maria Friström (00:08:55):
Stillborn.

Brandon Turner (00:08:56):
Yeah, stillborn. Like, how do you wish people would've responded to you? Like, reach out to you, ask, you know, whatever, like, like apologize. Like how do you, how do, how do you wish you were responded to at that moment and maybe how were you?

Maria Friström (00:09:09):
Yeah. I think there is a misconception about grief, which is thinking that people want to be left alone. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And I think that most people want people to reach out. And it was interesting to me because the one person that became like the biggest support for me was a new friend. So what she would do is she'd just show up at my house and she's like, I've got pieces, pizzas in the car, . Like, I can come in and give them to you and then leave. Or would you wanna go for a walk? Yeah. And then that's it. Nothing like, how can I help you? Yeah. Or how can, like you, when you're in grief mode, like the acute mode, you are so tired of making decisions. Yeah. You have the worst decision fatigue. And this is not true just for losing a child.

(00:10:01):
It's grief. Any grief altogether, like any, any grief, but especially when it's an out of order grief. Yeah. Right. So you're not supposed to bury your child. So Yeah. When you're in that dark moment, she would just like, call me and she's like, you don't have to pick up, I just wanna see that the bubble becomes green or whatever. Yeah. She'd send me texts every day just to see like that I saw it and she, she would some days try to send me a joke and like see what sticks, type of thing. Yeah. And she became like, she saved me in many ways. So I think that's one, you have got to let people grieve, right? Yeah. So don't try to make them feel better necessarily, but hold their hand. Like it's, they're sitting by the abyss and all they need is you to hold them their hand and be okay with sitting by the abyss with you. Mm-hmm. So I think that's, that's a couple things that I'd, it's

Brandon Turner (00:10:55):
A terrible comparison, but it was interesting. Um, Rosie last week we lost our cat not lost. The cat died who had to put their cat down. No, we've had that cat for 12, 13 years. So, um, I wasn't as attached to some people outta their animals. Like it was sad, but, you know, I cried. But like, it wasn't like a, but Rosie, uh, like when we had to tell her we're taking the cat up to put the cat down and like trying to figure out that words. Anyway, it was just like, I wanted so much to not tell her. Yeah. And I wanted to just disappear the cat. I guarantee she would've never, uh, known. Like she would've just like, I've met a few weeks, she'd be like, I haven't seen sissy. I'm like, weird. Right. I could have easily bypassed that whole thing. Yeah.

(00:11:34):
Uh, and then this was interesting. I haven't really fully, like when I told her, she looked at me and she goes, can we get another cat then? And I was like, oh, this is not gonna be a big deal at all. This is just like, oh, great. And then she started shaking. Yeah. And then she started, and then she just sobbed. And I was fascinated in the moment I still am is like, the reaction to grief was like this disassociation immediately with like, well, can I just get another cat? Yeah. Um, yeah. Anyway, I don't know how that compares in any way to this. I just, it was, it was interesting to see a child, the six year old go through grief Yeah. For the first time.

Maria Friström (00:12:07):
Haha. There's so much to unpack there. . Yeah. All right. So I think one thing that comes to mind with that is I don't think I've laughed so hard as I did when Visa and I were like picking out the casket friendly. Yeah. So it is the weirdest thing to have to go through Right. To, to try to choose what, to lay your baby into the ground. And, and yeah. And at the same time we, we, we like saw this crazy TikTok video of, uh, it was like a, a group of African, it's, it's a African, what do you call it? An African burial. Okay. And they dance. So they, there's like this and they dance and they go down on the floor and they do like the worm thing. And then they, and that's how they carry the casket. And so we're watching this and we cannot stop laughing . So we are obviously destroyed as people and like part of us has died. But the realization of like, it is possible to feel extreme joy and grief at the same time. And that's perfectly normal. And how quickly it can shift. Right? Yeah. So you can go from being like, oh, can we get another one into, I will never Yeah. Recoup from this type of thing. Or like, and then the oscillation is like really, really fast.

Brandon Turner (00:13:31):
Wow.

Maria Friström (00:13:32):
And I think, okay, so one more thing that I wanted to say about that, because we have two older children, Stella and Lucas, at that point, they were, were there three and four I think. And, uh, how, what, how do you tell your children? Because we knew that Emily wouldn't make it because she had, she had Tri May 13. Yeah. Some people are like, well, you shouldn't, don't tell them that's what, right. Yeah. And luckily we're able to talk to, uh, this child psychologist and she's like, if you don't tell them, they will make stuff up. Yeah. They might think that they killed the baby because they accidentally like kicked you in the stomach. Yeah. Or whatever. So we had really, really good conversation about life and death and how that impacts. And, but I think that was also one of the hardest and stillest Yeah. For me to see the kids not, especially Stella, not being able to be a big sister. Yeah. To have, I mean, she is, and I tell her, I'm like, you are a big sister. She's just not here. And they're like, we know she's in our hearts. . Yeah. So I think that's probably been the, the thing that has made me groan.

Brandon Turner (00:14:46):
Can I shift the question another direction too? And that is the idea of, you know, I asked like how reacted to you and how you wish they would've Yeah. But talking to other people in the future who are going through something similar, like the loss of a child or something. Like what can you say to them? Like, cuz I mean, honestly every single human is going to go, not always a child, but a parent, a loved one. Like, everybody goes through that. So Yeah. Like, how can they get through it? Like, what did you learn in that, uh, that you maybe wish you would've known or that you learned in the process?

Maria Friström (00:15:18):
Yeah. Ask them about them. I love talking about Millie the same way. I love talking about Ellen Lucas. People are just too scared to ask. Yeah. Because they're like, I don't wanna remind you about that. I'm like, it's not like I'm gonna go forget. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the number one, and then one thing I love is saying, I'm sorry they couldn't stay longer. Yeah. Right. You see them and meet them in the pain. Let them have the pain. Don't try to make it better. Don't say that they're in a better place because that's for you to feel better. Not for them. Yeah. So it's about ac acknowledgement, acknowledging their pain and being brave enough yourself Yeah. To hold their hand. I think society is just not, um, I was diagnosed with depression, for instance mm-hmm. because

Brandon Turner (00:16:07):
Before or after? After,

Maria Friström (00:16:08):
After. Okay. After. And I'm like, I'm not depressed. Yeah. I'm grieving. But if it takes longer than three months, then it's considered like you can't, there's nothing that says that you're grieving. You need to like, have some sort of, uh, diagnosis. Right. So I think that's also one to just be like, society needs to be okay with people not feeling great all the time. . And that grief takes time. So that was probably one thing. I went to the doc for something else. I went to one doctor and she's like, um, ask me about things. And I told her what had happened and, and she's like, wow. But it is so fresh. It just happened. And in my mind it had been a year. Yeah. So I'm like, well, it's been a year. And she's like, you just lost a child. And that, I don't know, just that empathy. Yeah. So I think having patience Yeah. Is is big.

Brandon Turner (00:17:08):
Yeah. I could see people wanting to just move it along quickly. Like, let's just get over it. Like, even like, you know, oh, you know. Yeah. It's been a year. Come on. It's time to, you know, pull yourself together. Yeah. That's like, that never leaves.

Maria Friström (00:17:19):
Like Yeah. And it's hard to, I don't wanna be telling people, well, don't say this because that's the reason people are too scared to say anything. Yeah. Because they're so afraid of saying the wrong thing. Yeah. So . But the one thing that, that I would say to like, stay, stay away from, oh, damn it. What was it? I forgot. What was it? There's so many things. Well, one was people are like, well, you have the two, you know? Oh yeah, you have two too. Two. Right. I'm like, two. Oh, which one of your kids would you kill often? And be okay with like not having, um, that's one. And, um, damn it, it might come back. That's

Brandon Turner (00:18:03):
Right. If it does,

Maria Friström (00:18:03):
It will. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:18:05):
All right. So on this show, a hundred percent of all the profits every week that we make from advertising revenue on the show, we give towards the charity of our guests choosing what charity out there. Maybe you know their name, maybe it's just a specific one you can look into. But where would you like the revenue from this show to go towards

Maria Friström (00:18:21):
Trie? 13.

Brandon Turner (00:18:23):
Okay. And that's the, that's the diagnosis. Your daughter Millie.

Maria Friström (00:18:26):
Millie. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:18:27):
Yep. Okay. Yeah. And normally I would ask the question like, why is that important to you? ? Clearly we've, uh, yeah.

Maria Friström (00:18:34):
Well, I can it. Okay. Yeah. Um, because, and I think this is the difference in between us and Finland or Scandinavia altogether. I think it's better here. So in the US people have an understanding of children with Tri May 13, that there's a chance for them to have a life that is meaningful. And in Finland is, it's more geared towards people thought it was weird for me to even give her a chance. Hmm. Everybody told me to, uh, to have an abortion because the chances were so low for her to make it, or, uh, right. So, so I think a big portion of that I'd like to go towards just education Yeah. And show that these children can have meaningful lives and, and those families can have, you know, it's not all hard.

Brandon Turner (00:19:32):
Well, is that, so what it's, say the name again if it's Tri

Maria Friström (00:19:35):
Tria me 13 Tria Me. Yeah. Okay. So that means that there's a third chromosome on the 13th.

Brandon Turner (00:19:43):
Okay. Chromosome. So you're saying some of them actually make it through to birth na lay live life. Yeah. Yeah. And do some then, then like, don't make it through. Like how does that, do you know percentage? Anything like that? Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:19:52):
Like what do you know about this? I can't remember anymore exactly what the percentage is is, but I think, I think it's almost 90% don't make it. Okay. And it's hard to know because the early miscarriages, some of them might be Tri May 13th, and they never get examined. Right. So about 10% make it, and I, if I remember correctly, and don't quote me on this, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think out of those, about 10% make it their first year. Yeah. Okay. So, so if they, if they're born alive Yeah. It's a small chance for, for them to

Brandon Turner (00:20:27):
Wow. To make it All right. Well, we'll make sure to give any revenue from this show that we get, uh, yeah. Towards that. But, uh, that's cool. When was this by the way, time-wise on

Maria Friström (00:20:35):
Your It was 2020.

Brandon Turner (00:20:37):
Okay. 2020. So not too long ago.

Maria Friström (00:20:38):
Yeah. And I, it's, it's like, it was a hard year for everybody. Sure. In many ways. But yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:20:45):
Let me get into the, the question I ask everybody on every episode of this show is, what are three things you have done in the past year, let's call it the last 12 months that has improved your life and given you a better, a better life today? Hmm.

Maria Friström (00:20:59):
I hired a mindset coach.

Brandon Turner (00:21:01):
Hmm.

Maria Friström (00:21:02):
That was a big one for me. Okay. Hmm. It's a part of being here. I, I came, I came here, but I think it was a decision to commit time and money into my personal development. Hmm. Signing up for your mentorship. That's cool. What do you call that? Like shooting sunshine up your skirt? Sure.

Brandon Turner (00:21:28):
Yes. Some of it. . Yes. Blowing sun. Shine up my skirt. Okay. I'm shooting it . Good. All right. And, uh, you can, you can shoot it. Uh, number three, . And

Maria Friström (00:21:37):
Number three, I wanna say it was my decision, but I think, okay. So let me say it and you'll, you can say it, it qualifies my husband quit his job. Ah. And so I wanna say was our mutual

Brandon Turner (00:21:56):
Decision. Oh, I like that. That a good decision. Yeah. And how is, how has that improved your life and what's he doing now? Is it helping with the kids or he building the business?

Maria Friström (00:22:04):
Yeah, it's changed everything. Okay. He was a bit of a shell of a person having worked 15 plus year corporate traveling 150 days a year. He didn't really know the kids. Yeah. And I think Millie is one of the huge re or I know she is one of the big reasons for him to finally make the decision. So he now has a couple passion projects. He, uh, works on a couple startups, but he's home a lot. He doesn't travel a lot. Now I do the traveling and I got him back. Yeah. I think is the biggest thing he's been, yeah. More like a shell.

Brandon Turner (00:22:46):
How were you able to do that? Like, financially? Was that just decision to cut all expenses down to nothing? Or do you, like, where's the income come from? How do you, how do you pay the bills?

Maria Friström (00:22:54):
Well, I set a goal for myself a few years back, which was to, uh, to free Visa. This is his name. Okay. And it's like free Willie

Brandon Turner (00:23:02):
. Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:23:03):
. So I, I set that goal and I achieved it through real estate investing. Mm. So was able to build a rental portfolio and, uh, increase our net worth to the point where that was sustainable for us to, to be financially secure for the rest of our lives, depending on our lifestyle. But then, uh, we were al also able to have a really good cash flow in flux Yeah. From a flip that we did. Ah, that's cool. So just living off of that enabled us to, to get like a longer, longer, what do you call that? Runway.

Brandon Turner (00:23:44):
Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:23:45):
So, yeah, it feels pretty cool to be able to say that, especially because a lot of men, middle-aged men, are like, when's the thing? I'm

Brandon Turner (00:23:55):
Not there yet.

Maria Friström (00:23:57):
When, when I wrote articles for bigger pockets, I got a lot of messages going like, well, I can read between the lines. So she has a rich husband, , you know, and I'm like, well, yeah, he has a good job. But I think the biggest impact is us working together. Like making each other better. Yeah. And it's, it's not that. So, especially now, I'm like, well, actually he makes zero . Yeah. So it's all he have his has a job, but no income. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:24:29):
What do you, what do you buy? Are you buying in Finland or buying in us like real

Maria Friström (00:24:32):
Estate? Both. I started in the US but I built my portfolio, the biggest part of it in, in Finland. And

Brandon Turner (00:24:38):
You're getting cash flow in Finland?

Maria Friström (00:24:40):
Yes. Right now it's negative though. , . Well,

Brandon Turner (00:24:43):
I just keep buying those. Eventually I'll turn positive. Right.

Maria Friström (00:24:46):
That's a big, yeah. So I never, when I, when I built the portfolio, the focus was not primarily on cash flow. Okay. The primary OK. Was return on investment. Okay. And just a velocity of money. Yeah. Really. So I did Burr and I was able to pretty quickly, uh, get an increase in our net worth. And we didn't need the cash flow because we did have his pay to use for that. Yeah. So it was more focused on that. But now I've, oh, I didn't say that. What I've done in, in the 12 months, I, I launched a coaching. Okay. That I'm pretty excited about.

Brandon Turner (00:25:21):
And what's the goal of that?

Maria Friström (00:25:24):
Well, it goes back to another thing that you taught me. .

Brandon Turner (00:25:30):
Keep blowing that sunshine.

Maria Friström (00:25:32):
Yeah. I love it. Well, as a part of the work that I put in a couple years of just like self-development, so the first mastermind, the first Maui Mastermind that I came to, it's almost three years ago now. Crazy. Is it? No, two years. Two and

Brandon Turner (00:25:48):
A half. I don't do time. I'm not

Maria Friström (00:25:50):
Good. I can't remember. But it was pretty shortly after Lily had died and I was lost. And I came there and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna come back with like a business plan and like next level I'm gonna do big things. And, and then I came back. It was Rich f fk. Do you remember he led us through this Yeah. Visualization exercise where you meet your future self. Yeah. And they give you a present, well, number one, my future self was dead. . Oh, . So, so that was like intense. But she gave me one thing, and that was the word peace. So what I took away from that was s not a business plan, rather it was focusing on healing and my started therapy. And I, uh, I spent time on just developing myself and, and finding peace and being okay with being as opposed to doing and, and all that.

(00:26:41):
So one of the exercises that you had is do the second year round. So the first year I'm like piecing out like kumbaya, . And after that I'm like, well, who do I need to be now that I'm starting to realize who I'm not anymore, and like who I am now I wanna figure out who I need to be to get to where I wanna go. So that's when we did the vision exercise and and I wrote down my vision. And as a part of that, I wrote, I wanna help a hundred people become financially free. Hmm. So that's what led me to then start the, the coaching of like, I myself had felt so stuck. I think I knew how to do it. I could do a deal at a time. I built the portfolio, did a lot of like DIY stuff, but I was frustrated.

(00:27:33):
I'm like, it was cool until it wasn't anymore. Yeah. , because my mom taught me this. Like, don't say how, I can't say how do I, how can I, and I did. So I just figured stuff out. And now I'm like, well, it doesn't feel good anymore. Like, that doesn't take me where I wanna go. And then you bastard, you came up with this, I think it was a keynote that you had, or you talked about alignments and you talked about when you're having frustrations or some level of like bad feelings, it's always because you're misaligned. Mm. And misaligned in your, your vision, your mission, your passion, your values and your actions. Yeah. And your feelings. And that's when I'm like, dude,

Brandon Turner (00:28:17):
I forgot about that keynote. That was a big, that was a good keynote. I haven't talked about that in forever. Yeah. It was mission. Yeah. Mission,

Maria Friström (00:28:23):
Vision, vision.

Brandon Turner (00:28:24):
Passion.

Maria Friström (00:28:25):
Passion. Actions and feelings.

Brandon Turner (00:28:28):
Yeah. Emotion. Emotion. Yeah. Cause they all, it was a five Shuns. Yeah. . Yeah. I forgot about that. It was silly. Cause it was like shun . It clearly didn't work, but, uh, it made me laugh. Yeah. And if you're, if you're feeling aligned in all those five areas Yes. Like, you know where you're going vision wise. Yeah. Passion. What? You know, I remember this too. I, I hadn't thought of this in like a year at least. The idea of passion, like the, the movie passion of the Christ. Yeah. Like when we as Americans or wherever young just English speakers say passion. Yeah. We're just talking about like what I'm excited about. Yeah. But like, what, how does that make sense with passion of the Christ? When we say the, the passion, it's cuz it's like the, the root word or what it actually means is like something like you're willing to like devote your life to ah,

Maria Friström (00:29:10):
And

Brandon Turner (00:29:10):
Like sacrifice for Yeah. So what it's like I'm passionate about real estate. I'm sacrificing a lot to be good at real estate.

Maria Friström (00:29:17):
Doesn't it mean to suffer

Brandon Turner (00:29:19):
Yeah. To suffer. Yeah. And that's what it was to suffer. What are you willing to suffer for? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You remember better than I remember you listened better than us yourself.

Maria Friström (00:29:26):
Just suffer

Brandon Turner (00:29:27):
Official words. Yeah. There you go. . Yeah. So everyone's like, I'm not, I can't find my passion. I'm like, can't find my passion. Like Yeah. I just wanna, you know. Yeah. Are you willing to su like Yeah. Suffer for Yes. I'm passionate about my wife. Not because I'm passionately in love. Like Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:29:42):
I hope you are too.

Brandon Turner (00:29:42):
Hope you know, but Well,

Maria Friström (00:29:44):
The pills on the day,

Brandon Turner (00:29:45):
, I will suffer. Uh, like I will go through hell to make sure we have a good marriage. Yeah. Like no matter what happens, like highs, lows, whatever. I'm there. So I, it's almost like we create our own passion in a way. Yeah. It's not something you find. It's not like, oh look, there's my passion . It's like, what are you willing to devote your life to and suffer for and put in the work to get the better life.

Maria Friström (00:30:08):
Yeah. You choose your heart or like, I like to say your pew sandwich.

Brandon Turner (00:30:12):
Well, and that, that is such a valid point. How would you translate that? I'm gonna let you do it. Cause I don't want, I don't wanna take your thunder cuz you just said it. The idea of choose your hard, how does that apply to real estate investors today in today's market? It's a hard market, but how does that, how would you apply that to somebody who wants to get into real estate?

Maria Friström (00:30:28):
Mm. Like specifically with the climate that we're in?

Brandon Turner (00:30:32):
Yeah. Like when would be a situation where you would yell at a real estate investor, like a newbie, be like, listen, you just gotta pick your hard. Like what would Yeah. Like why would that connect

Maria Friström (00:30:40):
Any situation mm-hmm. . I mean, it's always gonna be some part that's hard. If it's easier to get money, it's hard to find deals. Yeah. If it's easier to find deals, it's harder to find money. Right. Yeah. It's, it's always something that's hard. And and I think that was one of the reasons, well, a couple reasons. One, I realized, dude, if I'm stuck and if I'm feeling this frustration and misalignment, um, before I got past it, like I bet other people are too. And I also realized that a lot of people say to me when I coach 'em, they're like, I can't find money. But what it really comes down to, they're not committed enough. Yeah. Right. So when I ask 'em, I'm like, all right, so how many banks have you spoken to? Yeah. And show me your pitch deck and show me your business plan. Yeah. And show me your excel for your net worth and what that's looked like for the past five years. They're like, Ugh. I'm like, all right. So you need two things. You don't have the knowledge right. Yet. You need to study these things and you need to prep from 'em. And two, you haven't committed enough. Yeah. Right. So that,

Brandon Turner (00:31:38):
Did you say you want it, you say you're passionate about it. Yeah. But you haven't been willing to even suffer through talking to a couple banks Right. And making some cold calls, like Right. Are you really passionate about financial freedom if you're not willing to suffer financial freedom? Yeah. That's a TikTok right there. Are you Yeah. Like, right, like, are you passionate about financial freedom if you're not willing to suffer for it?

Maria Friström (00:31:55):
Yeah. And uh, and you talk about this all the time with the deal funnel, right? Yeah. It's like how many deals do you analyze per day? Yeah. How many do you, uh, put offers on? Right. It's, it's just math. Yeah. And also the clarity on like, all right, so what's your, uh, metric, your number one metric? Most people don't know, even the really seasoned investors are like, well, you know, cash flow. I'm like, well, is it cash and cash return? Yeah. Or like, so what sort of cash flow? Yeah. Right. Okay. So is that more important than return investment? Yeah. How do you calculate return investment? Like people don't even know, like, how do you know what deal is a good deal if you're not crystal clear on that? Yeah. And yeah,

Brandon Turner (00:32:35):
Real estate should be, in fact a like real estate investors are, no, I don't say trouble, but like real estate is, you can make it very clearly go or no-go. You know, like either I do it or you don't because you have metrics to find. Yeah. And like you said, most people don't have those. Like there's no like, yeah. Yeah. What, what are you actually aiming for? You want this cash and cash return, this, this, this, this. And at the end of the day, you Okay, this is my criteria. I call that in, uh, the multifamily million or the crystal clear criteria. Yes. Like this is what you buy. Yeah. And if you hit that, you buy it. It's not an emotional case. It's just, right. This is what I buy.

Maria Friström (00:33:06):
And so often like the lack of clarity mm-hmm. will leave you stuck. Yeah. And that we talk about all the time with the coachee of like, of course you will feel like this and frustration if number one, you don't know what your vision is. Yeah. And you don't know what your life, what you want it to look like. If you don't know what your strengths are and who you are and who you need to be, start there. Yeah. Then you can talk about where are you today, what does your current portfolio look like, and how do you want, or what does that look like if it just continued with this, oh, like have you done a forecast on that? Yeah. What, that's like pretty hard to do. Yeah. If you considered all the different, but there are ways to do that. And then you can be like, all right, so now you know your metrics for you. Yeah. Like nobody else can tell that before. You know, and have that clarity. And then you can go into like, alright, now you can pick a strategy. Now you can pick what deal is a good deal for you. So I, I really, I, I just, I like the holistic Yeah. Approach with that.

Brandon Turner (00:34:05):
It's beautiful. All right. Let me go back to, uh, something you said earlier I wanna dig on on you said, well now it's all, it's all negative. What changed? Like

Maria Friström (00:34:13):
What is negative? Oh, my

Brandon Turner (00:34:15):
Portfolio. Yeah. You said, well now it was negative and I wanna dig in, but we didn't get back to it. So now I'm going back to it like what, what changed to make that deduct tenants to stop paying

Maria Friström (00:34:23):
No interest rates? Ah, so my rental portfolio is in Finland and, uh, we, uh, do arms a lot more than we do do in the us which now adjustable rate mortgages. Okay. Yeah. So, so

Brandon Turner (00:34:37):
The rate can go up and down based on

Maria Friström (00:34:38):
The rate can go up and down. And they're tied to, most of my loans are tied to either a six month or a 12 month euro bore. So that means that every six or 12 months that it adjust adjusts to whatever it is at that point. So I, uh, chose not to lock 'em in because it was a part of my risk mitigation plan. I knew that at some point the rates would go up, but it, my business case just made, made sense that way. So I've known ahead of time Yeah. That they will be cash flow negative at, at some point, but it's okay because that's not my primary metric mm-hmm. now how, however, there's still appreciating and, and, and it's, it's a healthy portfolio and we have good equity in it, so we could refinance and, and be okay with that. But because it was always a part of my risk mitigation plan, I, I have buffers in place and, and there are things that we could do to the mortgages to, to change that, but yeah, it's definitely nerve-wracking. Yeah. Yeah. It's

Brandon Turner (00:35:37):
Not fun. Nobody wants

Maria Friström (00:35:38):
Negative cash. Yeah. I've invested in real estate for seven plus years. Yeah. So this is my first downturn. Yep. And that's why it's so cool to be in these masterminds where it's like I have close friends who've been in downturns Yeah. And I can ask them for inside. So it helps with the sleeping. Yes. .

Brandon Turner (00:35:57):
Well, it also shows like, you know, there's so many people who got into real estate back in the past, you know, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years Right. That have never experienced a downturn. And so they, yeah. These lessons are valuable to hear. Like for example, the just what rate mortgage, this is what caused all the problems last time in oh seven. Yeah. And then we kind of forget over time and again, you know, you had a mitigation, I'm not saying you anything wrong there. Yeah. But like, I found myself getting like, like in my own real estate, like, they'd be like, Hey, do you want a three, one arm, five, one arm or fix? I'm like, well, the fix is two points higher, I'd rather just get an arm. Yeah. Because I forget about oh seven. Yeah. And so then all of a sudden I'm like, well, shoot.

(00:36:32):
Now, now granted they put a lot of protections in place. Like for example, in the US anyway, like if I have an adjustable rate, there's usually a cap on it. It's usually like 11%. There's like some number that's like, can't go above that. Oh. So I don't, yeah, maybe Finland doesn't have that, but we have, yeah. We don't, yeah. We have a cap. Not, and again, maybe not always, but all the ones that I've done have a cap. And I've always said, when I do that, whenever I do an adjustable rate, I say, can I still, does this make sense if it goes to 11, there's also a rate of of how fast it can get there. Yay. Yeah. It, so I run what's called a worst case analysis. Right. Worst case scenario, W C S A worst case scenario. Yeah. I dunno. Worst case scenario analysis. I feel like there should be an acronym or a

Maria Friström (00:37:09):
Yeah. I think it, it should be scam. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:37:12):
Okay. Then , you run the, you run the numbers and you're like, all right, this, if the worst thing happens here, yeah. I'm probably still okay. And maybe that's because I still cash flow. Maybe it's because I've got other income. Maybe it's because I've got so much equity, I could sell it if I had to. But always having that like, and now it's not like worst case, like, you know, plague hits and we all die. Right. But like the, yeah. I think I even call it in one of the books I wrote, like the worst case, like worst plausible case scenario analysis where it's like, let's talk realistic, you know, rents, rents go down a little bit. Like rents drop 10%. Yeah. And at the same time rates go up. Am I, am I bankrupt? Nope. Okay, then I guess I can move forward. Right. Tim Ferris talks about this in the four hour work week. Yeah. Right. Like, should you put your job the

Maria Friström (00:37:55):
Worst case the way I love

Brandon Turner (00:37:57):
It. Yeah. I love that book. Yeah. Man. Such a big impact on me. All right. So,

Maria Friström (00:38:02):
So can I say just one more thing on that? Oh, wow. So in my , I would've said it anyways. . I

Brandon Turner (00:38:08):
Know. Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:38:08):
Yeah. It doesn't really matter. Well, it's not really waiting for the approval. So in my, I developed this real estate investing Excel portfolio overview, if you will. Yeah. And as a part of that, so the rates in Europe were 0.7 0.7%. So like it was zero. Yeah. But then with the margin, so the bank margin was like 0.7. Yeah. So I paid 0.7 Wow. For my loss. Yeah. Um, wow. My loan two, what's that called? Loan two value. Loan value. Yeah. Loan to value is, is pretty low. That was one of my risk mitigation like, uh, criteria.

Brandon Turner (00:38:44):
So like your loan amount compared to what it's worth Yeah. Is Yeah. So you're not joining 95%

Maria Friström (00:38:49):
Max 60. Yeah. It's like 60%. Yeah. So that's why like, I, I feel comfortable cuz I have a lot of equity in all that. Yeah. Anyways, so as a part of that Excel, and which was one of the reasons the banks were okay to give me loans when I Yeah. Got, like, when I came with my new, uh, uh, investment company, I knew what my portfolio looked like if the rates went up to one, three and 6%. Yeah. And I mean, that's the stress test Yep. That the banks do anyways. Stress. Yeah. But I came to them, I'm like, dude, I know what it's gonna look like and here's my risk mitigation plan. Here's a, B and c SC scenarios, here's how they go as well. Well, anyways, so Yeah. Um, and we do, there are ways to get caps on the arms. Yeah. But you have to pay for them. Yeah. We yeah. Commercial world here and they never, okay, so let me tell you this. Yeah. , you know this already, those products n are always in favor of the bank. Yeah. Because they know how to price them. Yeah, yeah. Right. They're there to make money. Yeah. But if you are willing to pay to sleep better at night, yeah. It's worth it. Yeah.

(00:39:57):
For

Brandon Turner (00:39:57):
Me, yes. I'm much more willing if I'm using other people's money Yeah. Then I'm gonna put a rate cap on it. Yeah. If it's my own money, I'm like, well, I'm, I'm okay with some risk. Yeah. If it's my money. Yeah,

Maria Friström (00:40:06):
Yeah, yeah. So instead I've chosen to take the risk instead like leave cash per apartment Yep. To be able to like, sustain not just like one month or three, but like a year. Yeah. So at least, yeah. So yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:40:21):
So you're gonna still buy or you gonna take a little break until real estate comes back down again? Or are you gonna start buying America? Or you can still find cash flow?

Maria Friström (00:40:28):
Yeah, I would love to buy more in America, but right now I'm focusing on developments. Okay. And right now, uh, I'm an equity partner on, uh, development

Brandon Turner (00:40:38):
Now with that terrible kitty neon,

Maria Friström (00:40:39):
Right. , what's that?

Brandon Turner (00:40:40):
now with that terrible kitty neon, hopefully not anywhere connected to her, uh, development in the us. Yeah, tell

Maria Friström (00:40:48):
Me more. Yeah. In Texas.

Brandon Turner (00:40:49):
Why,

Maria Friström (00:40:50):
Why? Yeah, why I, um, dude, that was, uh, a deep question. . I wasn't prepared for , uh,

Brandon Turner (00:41:01):

Brandon Turner (00:41:05):
Room by the way. That's,

Maria Friström (00:41:05):
So let me tell Yeah, that's, so Katie sits right next to me. Yes. Okay. Let me tell you why. Okay. I, one of the masterminds. Okay. I was, I don't, I don't think you know this. Maybe I told you, but you probably forgot.

Brandon Turner (00:41:17):
I don't listen to us.

Maria Friström (00:41:18):
What you say. We had the hot seat situation. Okay. Yeah. So small groups were like four or five people. You sit in the hot seat and you get asked a bunch of questions.

Brandon Turner (00:41:28):
Is that the close on one or close off one.

Maria Friström (00:41:29):
Oh dude. . Just kidding. Call.

Brandon Turner (00:41:33):
Just kidding everyone. All right, keep going.

Maria Friström (00:41:36):
. So you're in

Brandon Turner (00:41:39):
This podcast off, this is a pervert.

Maria Friström (00:41:42):
Alright. You're in the hot seat and the tunes are on and you go leave the hat up, and, uh,

Brandon Turner (00:41:50):
Anyway, sorry. Derailed us. Anyway. Anyway, you're in the hot seat.

Maria Friström (00:41:53):
So at this point, my group, they know my business, they know what I'm doing. They know my challenges. And Mike track is who lives here in Maui. He goes, Maria, dude, legit. What if you could gain an equity position against your design knowledge? Hmm. And I'm Mike, what is that a thing? 15 minutes later, I go up to the hotel room that I share with Katie Neeson. Katie develops on Instagram and she goes, Maria, she was not in my group. Yeah. She had no idea. This discussion had happened 15 minutes earlier. And she goes, I have a proposition for you. I'm like, cool. What is it? Do I take my clothes up now? Now we're like, okay,

Brandon Turner (00:42:32):
There's a lot of propositioning going on

Maria Friström (00:42:34):
Here. Yeah. And he goes, how would you feel about coming on as a designer on one of my development deals and getting a equity portion for that? And I'm like, are you freaking kidding me right now? I'm like, the universe is just like blind up and this starts Yeah. So that, that's why I, um, was afraid for a lot of things, afraid of using other people's money, afraid of doing bigger deals, afraid of this and that. And so I'd learned a couple things at, at that ma mastermind. Number one, stop saying you're afraid. Mm. And start doing. Yeah. Two, like start doing as if you weren't . Two, do it with people who make you less afraid. So now that I'm doing with Katie, there's like, there's zero fear. Yeah. It's, it's excitement. So yeah,

Brandon Turner (00:43:29):
This thing I've been saying lately a lot is align yourself with people who make the impossible look like Tuesday morning. Right.

Maria Friström (00:43:34):
Yeah. I love

Brandon Turner (00:43:35):
That. I love that concept of like, yeah. Like even for me, like development of a project would be huge. Yeah. But for Katie, it's like a Tuesday morning. It is like a normal thing. She just does. Yeah. And so, yeah, design for me feels overwhelming and impossible. But for you it's, it's like, yeah, it's what I do. It's easy, right? Yeah. For, uh, fitness, right? Like, I look around guys like my buddy Gabe Hamel, and I'm just like, man, not eating Oreos is like impossible when there's an Oreo on the counter, I want to eat it . But for him it's like, why would you ever eat it? So when you align yourself with people who make the impossible look like a Tuesday morning. Yeah. It just, like all of a sudden you get a little bit of them in you. Like you get a little bit of their courage and strength and, and mindset and philosophy, whatever you wanna call it. Actions. Like, you get that in you a little bit and you become a little bit more aligned with who you desire to be. Yeah. And, uh, yeah. Good stuff. Hey, yo, it's Brandon. This is that ad spot we mentioned earlier.

Brandon Turner (00:44:30):
Like you heard a hundred percent of this week's ad revenue is going towards a charity of the guest choosing. So here's that as spot by listening. You're making a real financial impact on the world. Today's sponsor is the Real Estate Investing Summit in Maui. Yeah. That's actually the conference I'm throwing here in Hawaii. It's gonna be a two-day in-person event at the Grand Hyatt in Kana Poly Hawaii on Maui, May 22nd, 23rd, 2023. This is a dual track event, which means we're gonna have two tracks at one time. One for new investors, one for experienced investors, and you can pick whatever one you want to go to. We got speakers lined up like David Green, host of the Bigger Pockets podcast, Jay Papasan, investor and author of The One Thing, uh, Wendy Papasan, tar Yer, AJ Osborne, rich and Kathy Faki, Brian Burke, and me of course, and a whole lot more.

(00:45:14):
And while this event is part of the accountability mastermind I run called the Better Life Tribe, we're actually opening up the few remaining tickets for the general population right now. So yeah, that actually means you can come if you hurry and, uh, get your tickets. And you should, if you wanna lean into investing in real estate to fund your future, you'll network with speakers and attendees. You'll get a ton of knowledge and wisdom about strategies and tactics that are working now. And you'll make some great friends at the same time. Now look, we only have 300 total spots for the event. This is not one of those huge two, 3000 person conferences. We're gonna get lost in the crowd. This is intimate, powerful, and life-changing. But because it's small, it's also gonna sell out quick. So for more information, if you wanna come, I'd love to have you go to r e i maui.com. Again, that is r e i maui.com.

Brandon Turner (00:45:59):
All right. Speaking of mindset, you mentioned you got a mindset coach. Yeah. What's that about?

Maria Friström (00:46:04):
Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:46:05):
What does a mindset coach do? Sounds fluffy. Who wants to do

Maria Friström (00:46:09):
That? Oh, it's fluffy in all the right places.

Brandon Turner (00:46:12):
, ,

Brandon Turner (00:46:13):
I thought they say about my body.

Brandon Turner (00:46:15):
.

Brandon Turner (00:46:18):
That's my, my nickname to my wife is Fluffy

Brandon Turner (00:46:20):
.

Maria Friström (00:46:22):
Well, my husband calls me a womba, so I

Brandon Turner (00:46:25):
I

Brandon Turner (00:46:26):
Don't know where that comes from. That's great. Okay. I love it.

Maria Friström (00:46:29):
Yeah. Who?

Brandon Turner (00:46:31):
Yeah, why? Mindset. What does that do?

Maria Friström (00:46:33):
Why? Well, I believe that well, number one, your business is a reflection of your personal life. Okay. And before you can go where you wanna go, you first gotta be who you need to be. Right. So it's about becoming. Yeah. And if there's anybody to what you just said, right. To, so who is it Tuesday morning for to dig into your mindset. Yeah. And, and challenge you and, and find, help you find like your resources. Mm-hmm. and also help you find your, what's it call like, the saboteurs? It's just getting on some sort of speedway Yeah. Into the future version of yourself. Yeah. You've read that book, right? Like how to become the, your future yourself.

Brandon Turner (00:47:20):
Yeah. I've not read it yet. It's up my, not

Maria Friström (00:47:22):
My house, but it is good. I have a pilot. The 10 x good one. Have you read the 10 x? It hasn't come out yet, but they I have not yet did. Wow.

Brandon Turner (00:47:28):
Why? We haven't out yet. You've read it? What?

Maria Friström (00:47:30):
What's going on here special? Like that? Look, it's you , man. No, it was a marketing escape. You should use it. Oh.

Brandon Turner (00:47:36):
Oh. So they gave us free

Maria Friström (00:47:36):
Advance. Okay. So he gave out, he gave out his transcripts. Yeah. Okay. To everybody who pre-ordered the

Brandon Turner (00:47:43):
Book. Yeah. I think I pre-ordered it too, but yeah. Apparently I'm not cool enough as you. All right. Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:47:47):
. Well, so anyways, it was one of those things I'm like, I asked you, I'm like, what's the one thing that took you from 30 to 7,500? And you're like, well, I worked a lot on my mindset. Yeah. And you, you have a mindset coach. And then I look around to everybody else and the mastermind that I'm in, I'm like, everybody has a mindset coach. I'm like, apparently this is the thing that you, you sh you should do it. Yeah. You right. So you mimic the people that you want to have the life of, and that's how you get to your future self faster. That's good. Because my future self has that mindset coach. So . Yeah. There you go.

Brandon Turner (00:48:21):
That's good. Yeah. It, it reminds you of the concept. I always like think through like if you want, if you want success in any area of your life, right? Yeah. Just look at somebody who already has it. Ask yourself what they do. Yeah. And then do that . Yeah. It's really not that

Maria Friström (00:48:32):
Hard. Yeah. It's so, yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:48:33):
I wanna be a developer. Yeah. Who develops? Katie develops. Okay. What does Katie do? . She does all these 12 things. She has a mindset of coach and she has all this. Okay, great. I'm just gonna do that thing. Yeah. Right. And then it's, it's like not that hard, right? I wanna be, I wanna look like Gabe Hamel. Okay. What does Gabe do? Yeah, he literally goes to conferences. I've been at conferences with Gabe. I always talk about Gabe. What's up Gabe? If you're listening . Uh, I always, like, I go to conferences with Gabe and the first thing he does is he goes to Whole Foods and he goes and buys a box of food and just like buys food. Yeah. And he eats no meals at the conference. He doesn't go out, he eats all meals in his room or he brings the food down to the thing. That's what Gabe does. And I'm like, I went to an event the other day in LA with David Green and I ate 4,000 chips at a bar. Like I ate, I ate all of the chips. I think they were like asking all the neighborhood bars for their chips. Cause I all

Maria Friström (00:49:21):
Don't go to la. There are no chips stuff. No

Brandon Turner (00:49:24):
Chips, slots in la I ate all of them because I didn't go to Whole Foods and get a box of food. Like Yeah. It's so simple. If I wanna look like Gabe, do what Gabe does, right? Yeah. It's like the bracelet I was talking about, the ww jd. Like we all, what would Jesus do? It's like ww, g h d. What would Gabe Hamel do. I

Maria Friström (00:49:39):
Thought we were talking about like wrestling or something. What

Brandon Turner (00:49:44):
We're talking about. What would, what would Maria, what would Katie Neon do? Ww k n d. If you wanna be a developer, what would she do? And then just go do it. Like, it's not a complicated thing. Right.

Maria Friström (00:49:54):
So can I tell you something specific that the mindset coach did with me?

Brandon Turner (00:49:57):
I'll allow it. Ah, , you're like, I don't need you to allow me to do anything. I'm a fierce, independent female.

Maria Friström (00:50:04):
. Yeah. . I didn't come here to make no friends. .

Brandon Turner (00:50:09):
All right. Tell me.

Maria Friström (00:50:11):
She helped me. Well, first of all, she asked me this question, she's like, how do you know you're being true to yourself? Hmm. And I'm like, syntax era. I don't even know what that means. Like what? , can you unpack that a little bit? So was one thing that we spent time on to understand how I can be it true to myself, but as a part of that, we did an exercise to figure out my values. Mm-hmm. , right? Going back to that alignment thing, like how can you know you're aligned if you don't know what your values are based on, based on like, not what's the surroundings, not what you people, not what your parents like, all that jazz, but like how you're being true to yourself. So I got a list of I think eight values out of that. And they surprised me. Number one was gross for me. And all of a sudden I'm like, I'm gonna have to be okay with being afraid and nervous and like, choosing the hard,

Brandon Turner (00:51:09):
Because growth is a value,

Maria Friström (00:51:10):
Because that is the one thing that will like, bring me joy the most, cuz I know that I'm being true to myself. Then

Brandon Turner (00:51:18):
Any other values you wanna share?

Maria Friström (00:51:20):
? Yeah. One was Father mucking, rebel .

Brandon Turner (00:51:26):
All right.

Maria Friström (00:51:26):
That was about, I just made that up. That's not like in there. How are you? And uh, it just reminded me of like, I, I'm different and that there can be a quality in that and

Brandon Turner (00:51:41):
That's okay. Yeah. It's kinda like core, core values in a company. Is that kinda like, it's just, but is that a core values to a company? This is what I believe. This is what

Maria Friström (00:51:47):
My Yes.

Brandon Turner (00:51:48):
Value.

Maria Friström (00:51:49):
Yeah. Yeah. Joy was one. Yeah. A big one in there. Mm-hmm. . And then like, beauty or creativity is a big one for me. So like, drove me, uh, into like the, the passion of, uh, of seeing potential. Yeah. And, uh, in people, which is the coaching and, and then in places or in, in houses like with Katie in the development or, uh, renovations for apartments. So that's why.

Brandon Turner (00:52:18):
Where do you, where do you derive your joy from? Like in a given day? Let's just say. Hmm. Like, where do you find yourself lost in flow and happiness and joy? You're like, I'm in it right now. That

Maria Friström (00:52:29):
Was one of the questions I was gonna ask you. . .

Brandon Turner (00:52:33):
Well, I win. I ask

Maria Friström (00:52:34):
You first I lose myself in the forest. Hmm. So when I move my body in the forest jogging, running. Yeah. I go trail running. Hmm. Yeah. And, and that also, so maybe it's the rebel part a little bit. So it was a specific moment. I go out and I run and it's always the same path. It's this Mm. Lit up trail in the forest next to our house, or like close to our house. And then one day I'm like, I see there's a little, what do you call it? Like a little path.

Brandon Turner (00:53:11):
Side path?

Maria Friström (00:53:11):
Yeah. Side quest. Not, yeah. Not, yeah. Not even, not even a path, but just like into the forest. Hmm. And I'm like a

Brandon Turner (00:53:19):
Deer trail. .

Maria Friström (00:53:20):
Yeah. Some sort of

Brandon Turner (00:53:21):
Following the wild animals

Maria Friström (00:53:22):
Alright. Side, just pop into the woods. Yeah. And I, all of a sudden I come alive and it was such an amazing analogy for me of like, oh, that's right. I'm not, I get a mm-hmm. , I get alive by trailblazing, if you will. Like running where other people haven't, or my feet all of a sudden, like, I needed to not just look straight down, but look 10 feet ahead. And I'm like, dude, there's so many good metaphors in here for life and business. And I could go the path, but that was kind of boring. I'm not aligned. Right. Because all of a sudden I'm like, no, this is like doing different. So it's like the metaphor of like being the commodity, going the wide path that everybody else takes. Or if you can't compete by being better in that, you just go into your little dear path. . Yeah. And you're different.

Brandon Turner (00:54:18):
You're I like that a lot. Yeah. You know Heather, um, Heather and her parents, when I lived in Washington, her parents and her used to go to this place called Lake Sylvia's in Montesano, Washington. Mm-hmm. , like all growing up. Heather would go there and it was a, it was a nice, really beautiful lake and it had two hiking trails, paths, whatever you wanna call it. Very well worn gravel, like three mile loop, two mile loop, whatever. And they would love to go on that. They would just walk on this path all the time. I absolutely hated it. Yeah. Like, it was hated it. And like, I could never realize why I hated it. I just never wanted to go with, and I would like, and then con contrast that with like, when I was like 19, I had some friends and I went hiking in Montana for a church trip.

(00:54:55):
And then like, we camped overnight at this place out in the middle of nowhere. And then in the morning when my buddies like, see that mountain there? Let's see how high we can get on it. And so we just left and we hiked all day, just like no trail. Yeah. Hyped up it top five memory of my entire life. Like kids getting, you know, marriage, hiking that mountain. Right. . Now why did I love that hike? And I hate the hike with my wife. And her parents had nothing to do with the, the company. It was because one was bla blazing the trail. Yeah. And one was walking on one. Well, Warren Yeah. Which speaks to, I bet you most entrepreneurs would probably prefer to go up a mountain that doesn't have a trail than walk on a straight path. Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:55:31):
Yeah. Thanks for making my story a lot better. .

Brandon Turner (00:55:35):
No, but I did think while you were talking about that, like as you give speeches in the future or you do content, whatever. Yeah. Like, uh, I would love to see, like, I could, I could totally vi visualize this conversation where you're like, you know, I'm out running and like you're telling the story, it starts raining, you know, like blah, blah, blah. And then I see this path. Yeah. And I see that I can just keep going the trail that I've been running for weeks and months at a time. Uh, and then I see this other path and I don't know where it leads, but I take it anyway. Yeah. Right. And it reminds me of Robert Stevenson's at him that the, the, uh, trail, what is it? The, I'm gonna butcher the the poem, but tra the path less take, yeah. Path not Taken, whatever like that. Uh, I came a a yellow wood. Do you know what I'm talking about at all? What's that now? What's that famous shoot? I'm gonna sound like I could more

Maria Friström (00:56:19):
On here. I'm gonna make you work for

Brandon Turner (00:56:20):
It. It's a very famous, like, the most famous poem of all time. Uh, I even had a song about it. I sang in like fifth grade. There were two paths and I'm glad I took the one Less travel, the road Less Traveled, maybe.

Maria Friström (00:56:31):
Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:56:31):
What is that poem about the Road Less Traveled? Let's see if it knows Robert Frost, the Road Less Robert Frost

Maria Friström (00:56:37):
Taken. Yeah. Well that sounds

Brandon Turner (00:56:39):
Familiar. Yeah, that's what it is. I figured it out. Thank you. Series two Roads Divert in a Yellow Wood. And sorry, I could not travel both and be one traveler long. I stood then took the other as just as fair and having, that's as far as I got on my watch before it cut me off. Anyway. Yeah. I could see that being a story, like a keynote. Like if you were to be a Ted Talk and then you go into like, you know, like Yeah. There's fear on that path. There's, you don't know what the next step is. Yeah. Tons of metaphors in there. Yeah. But people love stories. And so if you start with that story, people would love that.

Maria Friström (00:57:10):
Yeah. That is

Brandon Turner (00:57:11):
Good. All right. Take two. Where the whole podcasts over. You're gonna start with that.

Maria Friström (00:57:13):
Have you, have you heard, uh, Ellen did Jenn's version? No. have not.

Brandon Turner (00:57:19):
Is that good?

Maria Friström (00:57:21):
Yeah. It's like, uh, never. Oh dude, now I'm gonna butcher hers. Mm-hmm. . But it's, it's about don't, don't use the path that other others have taken unless you're lost in the woods. , get on that path then. That's good. Yeah. Then by all means, use the path that you see footstep. Sorry, which kind

Brandon Turner (00:57:41):
Of goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Right? If I wanna look like Gabe Hamel and get that six pack, I'm gonna follow his path for a while. Yeah. I can eventually for eventually I can see a little another trail and I might gonna trail off on

Maria Friström (00:57:51):
That one, but Yeah. And that's why the work that the Mindset coach does Yeah. Is so important because at some point

Brandon Turner (00:57:57):
Back, good job. Yeah.

Maria Friström (00:57:59):
Look at you that's

Brandon Turner (00:58:00):
Expert podcast

Maria Friström (00:58:01):
Guest. Oh. At that point you are like, how am I being true to myself? Right? Yeah. At that point, like, this is now boring for me. Yeah. It's the wife. I need to get into the woods here. So, and I think that's what happened to me. And that's what happened to you too, right? About the I'm not living up to my full potential. Yeah. I'm not living my best life here. Yeah. And what is it that makes me feel that way? How am I not being true to myself? And and that's, that's where it gets interesting. Hmm.

Brandon Turner (00:58:35):
Yeah. Because to revisit the metaphor, like I, I get a lot of value if I were to look at my values in life where I find happiness and joy Yeah. Is largely in climbing a mountain. Like metaphorically. Yes. And, uh, yeah. When I'm just resting on my laurels, like why didn't I just continue to do the Bigger Pockets podcast forever? Yeah. Because I've done it for nine years and it was already just cranking good. Yeah. And it's like all time to change something up. I need another path. I need another mountain.

Maria Friström (00:58:59):
That's also why, and I'm putting words in your mouth, but you've said them , so I'm just repeating them to you. Isn't that also why you don't like the question of like, well, when is an enough enough? Yes. Yeah. Apologies. Yeah. Because you're like, well, the day I die Yeah. Enough, enough. One day I die because otherwise you would stop growing. Yeah. I

Brandon Turner (00:59:21):
Hate, hate that question. Yeah. To give some context. Yeah. It's for people listening, it's like people are, I get it almost every, at least once a week of someone who's like, Brandon, when's enough enough? And you already have thousands of units and you got millions of dollars. Yeah. When's enough? Enough? And they ask it. Maybe some people ask it genuinely, but it's usually a one of those questions that's really designed to critique me Yeah. And to criticize me in the form of a question. Right.

Maria Friström (00:59:44):
What they wanna say is like, you're greediness.

Brandon Turner (00:59:46):
Yes. Exactly. They wanna say, you're a greedy s sob and therefore you should stop. I don't want to tell you that. So I'm gonna ask you, so you come up with it on your own, right? Like,

Maria Friström (00:59:54):
So how should they ask that question for it to be a good version of that question? Yeah. I think I asked something like that on the plane that I think was a good version, but I wanna test you

Brandon Turner (01:00:03):
. Yeah. I mean, some people have said to me when they've asked that question, they say literally, I want to know this is not a criticism because I have that same feeling. I want to grow, grow, grow, and I feel like I'm being like, greedy. And I'm like, oh yeah, you and I are on the same boat. Yeah. You can usually tell what people's imp uh, question is there. Uh, so I think just you can, you can feel the heart behind it. Yeah. And, and and yeah, the answer is like, I mean, first of all, I have 7,500 units. Sure. I'm a small percentage of a company with 1500 investors who all have a share in everything I do. So at the end of the day, like I don't have that much real, I mean like, but it

Maria Friström (01:00:37):
Sounds good. It sounds really good for, it's like I say, my portfolio is a multimillion dollar portfolio. It all

Brandon Turner (01:00:43):
Sounds really great. Yeah. There,

Maria Friström (01:00:44):
That's,

Brandon Turner (01:00:45):
Yeah. There's a whole

Maria Friström (01:00:46):
.

Brandon Turner (01:00:48):
There's a lot. Yeah. We could go in deep on that topic of real estate investors blowing up their, uh, yeah. Their egos by the way that they say things like, how many doors

Maria Friström (01:00:56):
Do you have? I just bought a ton Million dollar Yes. But with, uh, through arbitrage. Yes. Yes. Uh, what was it? Uh, house by the Sea in Montana.

Brandon Turner (01:01:05):
Yeah. Yeah. The Morning Brew

Maria Friström (01:01:07):
Montana video that they were, wait a minute. Yeah. So

Brandon Turner (01:01:09):
Good. Yeah. We need my, it'd be younger. I was five years old. Yeah.

Maria Friström (01:01:12):
I was five years old. Yes. And it was all

Brandon Turner (01:01:14):
. Yeah. There's a great video out there for those listening to, uh, morning Brew. Put it out just recently. It's probably old now, but by the time you're hearing this. But, um, yeah. And they're just like making fun of how real estate investors just loved to like Yeah. No, I was 18. No, I was 12. I was five when I bought my first property. And Yeah. You

Maria Friström (01:01:28):
Make the, make the thing sexier than

Brandon Turner (01:01:30):
You bought. Yeah. It was a castle house on cottage on the beach in, in

Maria Friström (01:01:34):
Montana. Yeah. Montana. Yeah,

Brandon Turner (01:01:35):
Exactly. Yeah. The ocean in Montana.

Maria Friström (01:01:37):
Yeah. Yeah. So

Brandon Turner (01:01:39):
Real estate investors do it all the time. And we like, I'm guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. Um, and at some level you can say the truth, which I, the truth is I have 7,500 units fine, but I'm also very not afraid of saying Yeah. But I own a small piece of that. Like, it's not like a, but to go back to the when's enough enough there is like, there is no number because at the end of the day, like, I'm not keeping my money. Like I'm not spending it on, like, I'm not spending most of it. I give most of it away. Yeah. And I'm gonna keep doing that. And if you, if I were like, I always ask that question like, what, what am I gonna do? Watch soap operas all day? Like, I did that at 27. I had enough money to quit my job. I sat on the couch for six months. I watched a ton of Law and Order, which is a phenomenal show, law and Order, one of the best shows of all time . I watched a ton of Law and Order and,

Maria Friström (01:02:21):
And Dancer with the Stars. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (01:02:22):
And Dancer With the Stars too. Ooh. And it was miserable. It was miserable. Like, there's a reason that when people retire, they die. Like there's sta stats that show this. Like, yeah, you can predict somebody's death by when they retire. It's like a few years later.

Maria Friström (01:02:35):
But when it's money based, that's when people Yeah, that's right. So my grandpa, he, he died at 97, uh, last year or like a year ago. And to his dad, like he was still writing his 12th book. Yeah. Like why is that Okay? Yeah. Like he's thinking of the next project. I thinking bigger, but if it's money, then it's like, why, why not? Greedy? Like, well, no, I'm just trying to grow .

Brandon Turner (01:02:57):
Yeah. David getting a better rush Green. Sorry to cut you off. No, go ahead. David Green said, uh, the other day that we, while we were sitting eating all the chips in the world in Southern California, , uh, he said, we're talking about this topic cuz somebody brought it up to him was enough, enough . And he goes, nobody ever says that about a fitness person. Like, Hey man, you already are in shape. Why are you gonna the gym again? It's like Yeah. Because it makes me feel healthy and good and I wanna live long. Like Yeah. Like why, why do we treat wealth? Like there's some number and you have to stop growing in life. Yeah. And so really when people ask that question, it's because they feel like they, nobody wants to be the villain in their own story. Yeah. Nobody wants to admit that they are not living up to their own expectations. And so we tear people down that are bigger than us because it makes us feel better. And I do it too. Oh

Maria Friström (01:03:43):
Yeah. Right. Yeah. You do. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (01:03:45):
I'll see influencers out there. Like there's a, there's a, I'm not gonna, I won't say their name. Uh, okay. I'm gonna say their name. Uh, hopefully I never hear this. The bucket list family. Yeah. So they are massively successful and popular. Yeah. But when I had seen them online, I was this like, I never, I wouldn't follow them because, and I wanted, and I didn't even have a thing to criticize 'em, I just wanted to know that they were somehow wrong. Yeah. Because it made me feel worse about myself to see this family traveling with their kids and whatever. Like, I had to find a way to criticize them. And then I met 'em in person. And they're amazing. They're incredible people. They deserve every bit of success they ever got. And I'm like, I just love them now. Like, but why did I have to have that attitude of like, I'm not gonna follow them. I ain't gonna follow them. You know, they're probably, you know, they probably got lucky somehow. Like that's another, like, I assume they got lucky. And how many people assume that I got lucky and you

Maria Friström (01:04:33):
Got lucky. I, I know. It's so terrible.

Brandon Turner (01:04:34):
Yeah. Cause if we assume somebody's lucky, we, we don't have to face the fact that our ability has a got us to where we where they are yet.

Maria Friström (01:04:42):
Yeah. So, or commitment or whatever. Yeah. Or whatever.

Brandon Turner (01:04:46):
Yeah. Yeah. And maybe there's luck involved. Of course there always is. But,

Maria Friström (01:04:49):
So let me ask you that question in a different way about when it's enough. Enough. How do you know when you are content versus when you are, what's the other word, Katie? Complacent. Complacent.

Brandon Turner (01:05:07):
Content versus complacent.

Maria Friström (01:05:10):
Okay. Can I add to that a little bit? Please. So here's something that Ada that I struggle with, I want to feel content. I want to find awe and and marvel and like the little things in life and, and be content. How do I know, like if I'm feeling off mm-hmm. , if I feel frustrated and as if I'm not living up to my full potential, how do I know that's not just a mindset issue that I just need to learn how to be content. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Versus maybe I'm just being complacent. Like that's always a fear of mine. Yeah. Like, am I really content or Yeah. Am I just complacent? Does that make sense?

Brandon Turner (01:05:53):
It does make sense. Yeah. I have no idea. Um, just answer right there. I dunno. Move it outta the next question. . Uh, no, I wrestle with this a little bit and uh, you know, I'm reminded of a, there's a passage in the New Testament where I think Paul says, I have learned to be content in all things. Yeah. Um, whether Rich we're poor, I've been hungry, I've been shipwrecked, I've been this, I've been this. Like, I'm good no matter what I'm content. And I love, yeah. I would like, I would love to be there. Yeah. I would love to have that like spiritual level of like, I'm content no matter what. But notice also that Paul was the most insane missionary in the history of mankind. I mean, he was traveling continually. Like he got, like, again, he was doing these crazy things.

(01:06:30):
He went before the emperor of Rome to like convince him that Jesus was like the real deal. So it wasn't like his contentness was lack of ambition. Mm-hmm. Right. So like, I'm like, okay, well I can be, I wanna be content, but that doesn't mean I'm not striving for the next level. Right? Yeah. Like, I can be perfectly happy. Here's a good way to look at this maybe. Mm-hmm. I haven't really thought this through, but let me, let me, let me unpack this in my head right now. Verbally, um, ver verbal vomit here. my child, Rosie. She is perfect. I love where she's at right now. I'm perfectly content in her ability to read three letter words. I have no, I'm not disappointed in her. I'm not upset with her. She's perfect. Perfect. Do I want her to get better at reading? Yes. So there I am content and I still have ambition for her. If she doesn't learn, I'll still love her just as much. There's no difference there. But I still want her to grow. Uh, I still think that she has growth to be done. So I don't know. What do you think on that one?

Maria Friström (01:07:34):
Yeah, I like that.

Brandon Turner (01:07:37):
Yeah. So like, we can be content and be perfectly happy where we are, but also have room to grow and we recognize that.

Maria Friström (01:07:43):
I think it goes back to the, the grief thing, that it's okay to, that you can feel multiple things at the same time. Yeah. Right. You can feel tremendous grief and joy mm-hmm. . And you can be happy and sad and you, you can feel content and the next minute it turns into complacency.

Brandon Turner (01:08:03):
Yeah. You can two things at one time. A hundred percent. And that's, and that's totally okay.

Maria Friström (01:08:08):
Yeah. I also love the fact that you, you can say like, I don't know and that you, uh, other day you're like, yeah, I'm nervous for things. Yeah. And I think that's really cool to have a mentor that's like, is a human . Mm-hmm.

Brandon Turner (01:08:25):
, thanks. . Uh, that thank you. Yeah. It's an interesting Yeah. That I, I I have struggled with that. I've asked other people that like really successful people. And again, it's like the heart behind it is not to criticize people of like, Hey, you got enough, why don't you be content? Cause again, you'd just be bored. Yeah. Um, but so I, you know, I've heard of people like there's, I've heard of like, I dunno if it's celebrities, what you call 'em, like speakers, writers or somebody had talked about how they, they sleep on the floor like once a week to sleep on their floor to remind themselves all the time. Or one of my favorite books of the last 12 months, I read, uh, I read two amazing books that, I mean, I've read a lot more, but two amazing to stand out was one was called The Comfort Crisis.

(01:09:00):
Ah. And it's really good. It's all about just like the stuff we go through in, in our world today, America, but just the world in general. We're so pampered. Yeah. That the average human spends like seven minutes a day outside of air conditioning. Like, we're always in it. Like we just go from our car to a house, to our office, to our car, to our coffee. Everything's air conditioning. Especially when you're in the hot, hot environment. My buddy Alex, actually Alex Fe, the one who's like the kind of podcast, uh, the creative director at Better Life. Here's the thing, he calls the a hundred year test. Mm-hmm. He says, anything that didn't exist a hundred years ago, you're not allowed to complain about. And so anything you wanna complain about, anything, if it didn't exist a hundred years ago, you have no right to complain.

(01:09:36):
So it's like, ah. And I really, I really like that cuz like, they just show, like for all of human history, we've been one way. And then the last a hundred years we just got really spoiled. Yeah. Like, we can complain about some stuff. Some stuff sucks and it's like, you know, disease and death and pain and suffering. Now we can talk about that and complain about it, but my air conditioning broke , my bed's too soft, so my back's a little sore. Like Yeah. It, yeah. I like that. Yeah. So the comfort crisis is all about that. Uh, the second book that I read that made a big panco was called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I

Maria Friström (01:10:04):
Love that. Isn't that Oh yeah. It changed everything for me.

Brandon Turner (01:10:08):
Oh. Just cuz like that rush of hurry, hurry, hurry. Yeah. Like why don't we, it just, it just takes like the wisdom of like Jesus and other like, you know, Christian leaders, but it says, how do we take that idea and slow down?

Maria Friström (01:10:20):
But it works as a book. Even if you're not Christian in my mind. Like

Brandon Turner (01:10:23):
It's, yeah. Two people that I know like the most are like super, like non-Christian like atheists and they both love the book.

Maria Friström (01:10:29):
Well, can I share one book that I

Brandon Turner (01:10:31):
Please dig, please. That was actually giving one of my questions coming up here was three books. Ooh. I'm going to shift this question and then we'll slowly start to wrap this up. But yeah, three books that have made a massive impact on your life. Yeah.

Maria Friström (01:10:42):
Go. So the first one is gonna be The Second Mountain.

Brandon Turner (01:10:45):
The Second Mountain. Never even heard of that. I

Maria Friström (01:10:47):
Really, dude.

Brandon Turner (01:10:49):
Wow. Is it in finished though? Is it like I know it is. Am I gonna read it in like, like I don't understand.

Maria Friström (01:10:55):
It is not unfinished, but I have to read a passage from it because, okay, so here's the situation. We reached a goal of some level of financial freedom. Okay. I'm running and I'm listening to this book. I've reached freedom and I'm not happy. I feel empty and it feels like a hoax. I'm like, this what is happening? I feel frustrated and misaligned. And then this comes up. Turns out freedom isn't an ocean. You want to spend the rest of your life in freedom is a river you wanna get across so you can plant yourself on the other side and fully commit to something. Mm. Right. So what's that mean to you? The, the entire precipice is that the, the word sure of the book is that the first mountain that you build is like a mountain of acquisition, right. You, uh, it's ego. You figure out like what you need, making your life nice, like all the comforts in place, that sort of thing.

(01:11:53):
And then when you reach that top, the only way to come is down. And I found myself in the valley and I'm realizing that the second mountain is the mountain of acqui. No, the first one is AC acquisition and the other one is, is the mountain of, um, and I forgot, give me a second. Acquisition, NACHA and Contribution. Contribution, that's the word. Not, yeah. English is my third language. So , I don't wanna hear that outta five. So . Well, I know one. So you know what first is the best. I barely . All right, so you've got the mountain. No acquisition and the mountain. No contribution. Okay. And I think that's where my coaching came in as well. So how can I take this knowledge that the first Mountain had given me and start giving back and uh, um, and building a community.

(01:12:51):
And that's exactly what you've done with better life. Right? And there's something just so meaningful and what you've done with the Masterminds. Katie's sitting here next to me, like you've enabled us to do things that we didn't even think we're possible. Just like the curation of that community is something that I don't know, just lights my fire up. And now that I've hired people. So Kelsey, you've, you've met Kelsey. I've met, she broke, met several times through the window. Yes. She broke into your air Kelsey through the win. What's her last name? Kelsey Lake. So Kelsey through the Window Lake, that's what we're gonna call her . Yes. All right. Oh man. As yes. A good story for another time. Yeah. Let's just say she broke into an Airbnb cuz we didn't have keys. Anyway, keep going. Yeah, yeah. I knew she was a keeper when she dislocated her shoulder . That's what you hear for me to get into the house. Yeah. She took look for the team . Yeah. So when I hired Kelsey, all of a sudden my goals weren't around me. Like increasing our net worth. Yeah. Or all of a sudden it's like, I want her to buy her first real estate investing deal. I want her to become financially stable. I want her to do all these things. I want her to, uh, become an entrepreneur herself. And like that is like, ah, yeah, you know what? She's changed everything. When is enough enough

Brandon Turner (01:14:10):
For you . I mean like, right. Like why can't you just be content with what you have and just go and watch TV every day? ,

Maria Friström (01:14:17):
Right?

Brandon Turner (01:14:18):
Yeah. That was the other part of that, that answer to that question earlier was like, when people are like, one's enough, enough, I'm like, well, if I can help 200 families put food on the table and have a better career that they love instead of 100. Yeah. Why wouldn't I do that? Like it's, yeah. It's just reframing, like Yeah, I work for them. Yeah. I heard Gary Vanerchuk once say that somebody said, hey, in four words. No, he said, they said in three words, give us your best advice on being a leader. And he was like, yeah, I work for them . He's like, I can't do it in three words. I can do it in four. I work for them. And it was such a profound statement of like, yeah. Yeah. As a leader, we work for our teams. Like we work as syndicates, we work for our investors, uh, as a, you know, I don't call it charity, whatever we call better life.

(01:14:59):
I don't even know. It's a for-profit that gives all the money away to nonprofit. Like we work for For purpose. Yeah. For purpose. Yeah. For the women and children we're gonna rescue out of human trafficking. Like, that's why, and what's great about that second Mountain concept is that mountain doesn't, a you don't get burned out as easily. Yeah. And b, there's no top. Yeah. Like, like it's not like, okay, now I got financial freedom. It's like there's still a lot of people out there that are, that are in human traffick and it's getting worse. Yeah. So like, it gives me a purpose. It gives me, you know, a mission. It gives me a lot that, uh, yeah. That significance piece of contribution. That's powerful.

Maria Friström (01:15:31):
And that was something that you told me as well when I asked you

Brandon Turner (01:15:35):
Like that I said a lot of good things to you. This

Maria Friström (01:15:36):
Is

Brandon Turner (01:15:37):
,

Maria Friström (01:15:37):
This is wonderful. Soon as I pay attention, , I've got them two ears on the one mouth. , you, you said that, I can't remember what I asked, but you said you celebrate with the team is one of the ways where you, uh, where you know that that brings you the contentment. I think. Yeah. Maybe it was the content, my question that I asked you. Like, how do you know or what can you do to improve that? And, and that really sparked something in me, right. Because I'm like, a hundred percent is easy for me to feel content. Yeah. If my teeth is content, right? Yes. All of a sudden you're like, I did good. Yeah. So

Brandon Turner (01:16:18):
That's cool. That's cool. That's a good feeling. All right. So that was one book. Yeah. Two more

Maria Friström (01:16:22):
Books. So, okay. Second one. How to you become your future Self Faster. Okay. Ben

Brandon Turner (01:16:26):
Hardy. That's the Ben Hardy. Yeah. Dr. Benjamin Hardy.

Maria Friström (01:16:28):
So yeah, what blew me away in that was the thought of I'd rather fail as my future self. Mm-hmm. in it instead of succeeding as my current self.

Brandon Turner (01:16:40):
Who's your future self?

Maria Friström (01:16:41):
My future self is confidence . Okay. We talked a lot about that. I try, I struggle with that. My future self has helped a hundred people reach financial freedom, has built a community of thousands of, uh, growth-minded people. And, uh, she's

Brandon Turner (01:17:03):
Filthy rich,

Maria Friström (01:17:04):
Filthy rich, . And she's created a lot of beautiful buildings. So like beautiful homes Yeah. For people. Yeah. The beauty part. Yes. That's a passion.

Brandon Turner (01:17:16):
Yeah. I like that. That's what I think. It's where part of the value of the vivid vision comes in is like when I wrote my Vivid Vision fellow who don't know what I'm talking about, there's a book by Cameron Herd called Vivid Vision. I read it and I wrote about Vision on My Wall. It's actually sitting about six inches from my head right now, . And it's like, this is what my future company looks like. But it was more than that. I mean, there's literally a section in there that says that I've got tattoos and I don't know, which, I have some now, but I need more. I'm wearing flip flops and board shorts. Like, like it's, it's, it's a vision of me. It's my future company and my future self, my future. Like, and when you really spec that out, now you can just kind of reverse engineer it. Yeah. But majority of the world doesn't know where they're going and so they don't know how to get there.

Maria Friström (01:17:55):
You wanna know something creepy, please. About the vision that I wrote almost a year ago at the last mastermind I wrote that my, uh, company goes on yearly company retreats. Mm. And next year we're gonna bike down a volcano. Mm.

Brandon Turner (01:18:14):
And that's what we're doing

Maria Friström (01:18:15):
Tomorrow. And tomorrow we're biking down a volcano. . But vi the only thing is volcano is Kelsey is, Kelsey's not here, but Katie is my business partner. There you go. So I'm like, that counts.

Brandon Turner (01:18:23):
That counts.

Maria Friström (01:18:24):
Yeah. And that like blows my mind that there was no way for me Yeah. To know that that was that's cool. That happened. So

Brandon Turner (01:18:31):
Well let's hope the rain doesn't wash us out. Ms. Case will do it next year.

Maria Friström (01:18:36):
,

Brandon Turner (01:18:37):
There's such power to that though. Like, there, there's something just magical about, you know, casting a vision and almost subconsciously it comes true sometimes. Yeah. Like I did a, um, I did a vision board. So if anybody's never done this before, it's a great practice. Get a bunch of old magazines. You go to your library, they're always throwing 'em away. And so just get like a 20, 30 magazines. You have some friends to do it with them and it's a really fun activity. We should actually do that sometime for a mastermind. I'd love that. Huge stack of magazines. You just all sit in a big circle around them and you just clip, you just take cut out pictures of things you want and you just glue 'em to a board. It's very like, you know, third grade, but it's like you just put all the stuff on there and Yeah.

(01:19:12):
I looked at mine when I moved. It was like, mine was kind of a big board when I moved. I took a picture of it, um, that way I'd have it and then I could reprint whatever I wanted to. But I ended up throwing it away cuz it was just so big. And I was moving to Hawaii and a room. But anyway, I pulled it out like, I dunno, a year ago. And I was looking at it and I, I hadn't looked at it in like four years, but I was shocked at how many of these little things on there had come true. Like just a, almost all of them were like, oh my gosh, this is my real life right now. Yeah. And like, because I put it out there and I don't, I don't think it's just like this, like the law of attraction. Like I put it out there in the universe, made it happen. Maybe there's some of that, but there's just something, something there.

Maria Friström (01:19:46):
Do you know the neuroscience behind that? Mm.

Brandon Turner (01:19:49):
Tell me

Maria Friström (01:19:50):
. So something I I teach my co cheese is exactly that. Is that a work co cheese? It is now. Mm-hmm. . I like it. One of the reasons why it's so important to do that work is that when you start by here's where I'm at now and here's the next step that I can take, you will ignite the conscious part of your brain and that's about 5% of your brain capacity. If you flip it around and do it your way, which is the vivid vision way of like what sounds amazing. Yeah. You ignite your subconscious and that is 95% Yeah. Of the brain. So what that does is your subconscious is actively working and seeking out opportunities Yeah. That you're not even conscious of. And finding those people, like taking you to those places, signing up for the mentorships or like, it becomes conscious things, but you're driven there by the subconscious. So, and that was one thing that I learned there too, of like, don't start by what you're doing now. Like with you guys in bigger pockets. You told me you went to the board. Yeah. And you're like, all right, so we're doing really great. This is where we're at, Rob, all these

Brandon Turner (01:21:02):
Millions of listeners and, and then here's where we're gonna

Maria Friström (01:21:04):
Do with him and, and here's where we're going. Yeah. And that dude and the board, he's like, well, tell me what's possible. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, stop. Tell me

Brandon Turner (01:21:12):
What you have and what you can do with it. Tell me what's possible and what you need to get there. Change my life. Yeah.

Maria Friström (01:21:18):
Yeah. So that's changing mine as well.

Brandon Turner (01:21:22):
That's two books. Book number three that changed your life. Besides all of mine, obviously .

Maria Friström (01:21:29):
Okay. This is gonna be a, a fluffy one. It's called It's okay that you're not Okay.

Brandon Turner (01:21:35):
Hmm. I've heard That's great. Yeah.

Maria Friström (01:21:36):
Yeah. So for anyone grieving or for anybody who has family and friends in grief, that's a really, really good book. And even beyond, if you're not grieving, I, I think it just, it's about the fact that it's okay to not feel great all the time. So yeah, that would, that one saved me in many ways. Mm-hmm.

Brandon Turner (01:22:00):
Well, with that said, I think it's time to get you outta here. We're gonna have some pizza.

Maria Friström (01:22:06):
We need food. Do I need food so

Brandon Turner (01:22:08):
Bad? Yeah. Need the Domino's indoors? I think we're doing like, yeah. . Yeah. We're doing a fancy pizza party , uh, about three blocks from here. And it's pouring. Right? Well, it's kind of dried up a little bit. It's not pouring right now. Uh, where do people connect with you at

Maria Friström (01:22:21):
Instagram? Maria loves real estate.

Brandon Turner (01:22:23):
Maria loves real estate. Yeah. Okay. Well, with that said, let's go get some pizza.

Maria Friström (01:22:30):
Yes. Thank you.

Brandon Turner (01:22:32):
And that is the show. Thank you everyone for tuning into another episode of A Better Life with Brandon Turner. I hope you enjoyed the insights and the wisdom, uh, brought to you today on this show. If you found value in this episode, please consider leaving us a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform. Uh, your feedback actually does help us improve the show. We look at the feedback, I look at the feedback, and we can reach more people with our message of living a better life. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Follow me on social beardy Brandon. And hey, before I go, this show is all about the habits, actions, and beliefs that can give you a better life. But in case you're interested and you want to know my opinion on what it takes to live the best life ever, and that includes some of my kind of weird spiritual beliefs, maybe check out a better life.com/best life a better life.com/best life. Thank you again for listening, and I will see you next time on a Better Life with

Brandon Turner (01:23:24):
Brandon Turner.