Kathy Fettke (00:00:03):
You know, wealth is not that. It's not at a big empty house with unhappy children. , you know, that's not not wealth. Wealth. We've had people come to, to real wealth who all they wanted was maybe this one guy just wanted to be an artist. He just wanted to spend his day doing art. And so when we sat with him, I was like, well, what are your expenses? What's it gonna take for you to do that? It was like 2, 2 2500 a month was all he needed to live his dream. So it's not about the money. It's about how much time can you free up to live life the way that you want?

Brandon Turner (00:00:36):
Welcome to a Better Life with Brandon Turner. That is me, where world class guests share their wisdom on building a better life. Join me as we explore the habits, the actions, and the

Brandon Turner (00:00:45):
Beliefs that have guided their journey with the aim of helping you apply those lessons to your own rich. Kathy, you guys are awesome. Thank you for joining me today.

Kathy Fettke (00:01:05):
Thank you.

Rich Fettke (00:01:06):
Great to be here, .

Brandon Turner (00:01:07):
All right. Sitting with you. Great to be here in your house. Your amazing house, . This is legit. Seriously, I've heard stories for years. Like, friends will come here and just be like, you've gotta check this place out. So awesome. I, uh, commandeered it tonight for a charity dinner and you guys are kind enough to host it, so thank you. Absolutely.

Kathy Fettke (00:01:22):
Well, this is a treat for me cuz when we, when we built this, it felt like too big a house for us. Mm-hmm. And I remember thinking, yeah, but I'm gonna have charity events here. Yeah. And this is the first

Brandon Turner (00:01:30):
One. Yeah. We sold what, 30 30 tickets? Roughly 35, something like that. Tickets for a thousand bucks of pop. Awesome. A hundred percent. And it wasn't even like profits go to charity, it's just they had to literally donate directly to, uh, the Tim Table, Tim Tibo Foundation for the Fighting Against Human Trafficking. So, oh. We raised at least 30, 35. Oh, that makes me so happy. Yeah. Just for dinner. And, uh, yeah. And we're gonna have a great night too. So we are.

Rich Fettke (00:01:50):
That's a

Brandon Turner (00:01:50):
Great purpose. Yeah. So thank you guys for that. Let's get into your guys' story a little bit. So you're, uh, I'll give a quick summary. I don't know everything about you, uh, real estate investors, business owners, uh, you've been through a lot of stuff. You did, um, mullet bench press at one point. Yes. . Kathy, you did news, TV news stuff. Yeah,

Kathy Fettke (00:02:09):
I was in the news. I graduated in broadcasting in San Francisco. I did know that. And worked, worked in the news until we got married. And I didn't wanna really chase fires or murderers anymore. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:02:17):
And I chase

Kathy Fettke (00:02:18):
Yeah, chase kids. That sounded better. All

Brandon Turner (00:02:20):
Right, so let's go back though. Before all, you know, super successful, amazing house, awesome place in Malibu. Uh, where were, where'd you guys meet? Like, how did that, how'd you guys get together? Uh, where does your life, uh, come together? But

Kathy Fettke (00:02:32):
You were sleeping on the floor of, uh, of your gym? Of mine.

Rich Fettke (00:02:35):
Yeah. . So I, I sold my gym that I started when I was 23 back in Boston. And then drove cross country in 95 and came out to the Bay Area and met Kathy in a personal development seminar. Oh, really?

Kathy Fettke (00:02:48):
I was a single mom with a, uh, living with two roommates. Mm-hmm. in a house in Oakland. And yeah, my actually my assistant at the time, I had a small business and she's like, you should go, you should do this thing. It'll be good for business. Cuz she knew I wouldn't go for personal. But at that time, my personal life was just a complete mess. I, I barely talked to my ex-husband. We would just pass the baby back and forth. I, I was a workaholic, didn't really do much more than that. Didn't spend enough time with my child the way I wanted to. So then she got me to this personal growth workshop because I thought I'd make more money. . Yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:03:21):
Yeah. So it's three months. You set three goals, two personal goals, one professional or the different mix? Two professional, one personal. And, uh, I saw Kathy and I said, I know what one of my goals is gonna be . And it worked.

Brandon Turner (00:03:34):
That's awesome. Do you remember the line you used when you first talked to her? Was this like, hey, or were you, did you have a pickup

Rich Fettke (00:03:39):
One? Actually, it wasn't a line. It sure sounded like one, it sounded

Kathy Fettke (00:03:41):
Like a line.

Rich Fettke (00:03:42):
. I got introduced to her and I looked at her and I said, I think I've met you before. And I really, it was the th only time I've ever felt that was a woman. And just, you know, it was, it was wild. I just, I really felt that I, I was trying to place where it was and everything, but I don't know. Must have been destiny. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:03:56):
He, it's funny you say that when I, there's certain things in life where when you, when you encounter it, there is that kind of deja vu feeling. And I'm not necessarily like, I'm not a believer in like the, you know, necessarily reincarnation or that I had a past life necessarily. But there is this feeling of like, like when I found my house mm-hmm. , I was like, I own this house before, like, there was no question. I was like, I've been here. Nice. I know this house. Right. And when I met Heather, like when I saw her from my college window out on the lawn, I was like, I'm gonna marry that girl. Like, I just knew it. Like, and I walked down there and I was like, this is the girl I'm gonna marry. And I said, like, the a verbally said it out loud, I'm gonna marry this girl. And then I did. Right. Because I was like, in my head, I'd already, I'd already done it. So I don't know where that, I don't know where that comes from, but I don't

Rich Fettke (00:04:35):
Know. But we've, Kathy said a lot of those experience this house itself. Yeah. All

Kathy Fettke (00:04:40):
Of our houses. Yeah. I saw them first. Yeah. Isn't

Brandon Turner (00:04:41):
That great? Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke (00:04:42):
. Yeah. Doing the future self or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't see it. And then it's, then it becomes reality

Kathy Fettke (00:04:46):
As clear as could be. And then I'd pull up and be like, oh, there it is.

Brandon Turner (00:04:49):
Yeah. . And that's that power of like visual visualization, future self. Can we, I I, I mean I wanted to bring that up later, but I now we're we're covering it. Uh, you walked me through a process one time, rich of that future self. Mm-hmm. , can you talk about what, what, what is that? What is that idea? What is that practice? We don't have to you do it on the show, but like

Rich Fettke (00:05:05):
Yeah. It's, it, it's a guided visualization. Uh, I actually started doing it way back in college because I was, I would record my classes. I'm so a d d I couldn't pay attention in class, so I'd re record 'em on a little micro cassette. And then one day I just, I was bored studying at home and I flipped the cassette over and I said, A day in the life of Rich Ky. And I just went into this whole thing. And then when I got into coach training in 96, they had a similar process where you could actually, you know, do this visualization and guide someone to meet their future self. So it's basically that it's meeting, it's facilitating that and having someone meet their future self, 10 years, 20 years in the future, and really get to see who is this person who, who do I become?

(00:05:46):
Who do I want to become? And you're just taping into that part of the brain that, you know, the creative spot and the imagination spot of just like, really on a deep level, who is it that you really want to become and what do you see? And I don't know, something happens in it where you really tap in and you see some things that are pretty cool. Yeah. Unless for some people it's like, I've guided people through it and they're like, Ooh. They'd open their eyes and say, I don't, I don't like that person. Yeah. And it was because the choices they were making in their life Yeah. What's going to take them to a future where they didn't want to be. Yeah. So the cool thing is that you can shift that and you can change it and make different choices and end up, you know, having a better future self. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:06:22):
Somebody in the mastermind when we did that, I can't remember who it was and I wouldn't call 'em out anyway right now, but , they, they, they said basically, I wasn't there. Like, I was like, I was like, the choices I'm making in life were leading towards a bad spot where maybe I wasn't like, I'm not gonna make it there. Wow. Into the future self. And it may rock them and they're like, oh, I gotta make some different changes. Oh my gosh. Right? Isn't that wild? Like, it's powerful. Yeah. And it's like, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what that is, but it's just the idea of visualization. So what, what else in that world have you guys done? I mean, like, what, what are those, uh, you know, cut out magazine pictures and put 'em on a thing, like a vision board? Have you guys done that? Are you vision board people? Oh yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:06:52):
We've done, absolutely. We've done a lot of that with our friends, with our daughters. Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:06:55):
I mean, this house was kind of on our vision board 25 years ago. Yeah. When we met, we, we, again, he was sleeping on the floor of his gym. I had roommates on each side, single mom struggling, uh, to get by every day. But when we did the dream board, we just cut out pictures of things, don't, like, don't overthink it. Just stuff that we like. Yeah. Yeah. And of course we liked houses on hills overlooking ocean. Yeah. You know what ocean. And not stopping to think, well, how are we gonna do that? Just like, I like this. And then you put it on the wall and your subconscious is so powerful. Yeah. If you don't think you can have something, then your subconscious isn't gonna try to help you to create that. Mm-hmm. . But if you, if you just get yourself out of the way and, and you don't even have to be like, I want this or I don't want this. Just allow it, you know, just allowing that picture to be on my wall. Like, oh, maybe someday I could have, this was enough.

Rich Fettke (00:07:45):
And it's almost like that quote, you know, the what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So it's almost like going there. Yeah. And it's like, okay, if I couldn't fail, this is what I would do. This is what I would have, this is what I would be like. Yeah. And it's like, it's mind expanding. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:07:59):
It

Kathy Fettke (00:07:59):
Really is. I'm not there yet. Cause I would be surfing hurricane, like these big waves, , you could

Rich Fettke (00:08:03):
Do it, but you can bring that in there .

Kathy Fettke (00:08:05):
Yes. Yes. I, I, every, every year it gets a little better, you

Brandon Turner (00:08:08):
Know? Yeah. Yeah. And there's, I think there's something to that too is like, even, even if I won't, like, I might put on there, I want to surf a picture of a guy surfing a giant 40 foot wave. I'm not gonna do that. Mm-hmm. . But I want to be more like that guy. Like I want to be more fearless, right? Mm-hmm. , sometimes it's okay to put I think the aspirational stuff. Yeah. You know, there's people I follow online. I'm a big believer in following people on social media that you don't necessarily want to be like, but they're the extreme version of who you want to be like. Mm-hmm. Because like, I don't need to be like them, but I need to be a little more like them. Yeah. Like, I don't like everything they do, but I wanna be a little more like that. You could look that like politically or spiritually or whatever. I'm like, I would not wanna be that guy. But I like that he does that. And he, by following that, I start picking up on some of their vibes and start going that way.

Rich Fettke (00:08:49):
I really love that. Cuz so many people look at it differently. They look at people like that they're, we were talking about earlier. And they'll make an instant judgment on that person. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll be like, you know, they're, they're not a good person or they're greedy or whatever it is. It's like, so I love that it's cuz then you're turning that instead, instead of envy, you're looking at the inspiration out of it. Yeah. I love that.

Brandon Turner (00:09:09):
Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. You know, I, um, did a vision board back, uh, call 10 years ago now, my wife and I. And we just literally just took magazines. Uh, I think it was at a, maybe a mastermind of some kind. We just took magazines a big album, cut out pictures, put 'em on the thing. And we weren't, like, we didn't focus that much on it. We had it sitting on the wall for a few months, maybe a year, put it away. And then I'm like, you know, didn't really look at it for a long time. And then, yeah, I found a picture recently where I took of it. We'd thrown it away when we moved to Hawaii and, but I found a picture recently and I was just like, my jaw dropped at how many things had come true. I mean, even there's like a picture of my backyard garden and it was like, that's my backyard garden. I had no memory of it being on that vision board. And

Rich Fettke (00:09:45):
How well ago was

Brandon Turner (00:09:46):
The vision board? That's why I made the vision board like 10 years ago. 10 years ago. Like, yeah, three years ago we built the garden. Nice. And I hadn't looked at it for years before that, but there it was. And instead like a house with a view and like, my house has a view and it was a, had a picture of like my wife, but just, uh, it said like, there's always time for pie. And it was like, now we have on our wall, and again, like there's a giant sign in our kitchen just says pie. Like one of those big cutout weathers things, . And she, she loves making pie. So it's just like, yeah, it was, it was fun. But it also shows like, yeah, you've made it real. And it is a simple practice that any, especially like couples, I love doing, I love doing it with my wife. Mm-hmm. Because it was like, yeah, this is a cool thing for us to co conversate about. Conversate a word or to make a one. I

Rich Fettke (00:10:23):
Think it is actually, I

Brandon Turner (00:10:23):
Don't know, maybe

Rich Fettke (00:10:24):
Converse, . No, no. I think it's, I thought it wasn't, but then I looked it up cuz I was gonna use it and I'm like, isn't a word

Brandon Turner (00:10:30):
Conversate All we're Yeah. You can couple things now it's, no, it's now conversate about conver. Yeah. Now I looked it up Alex to say, no, it's not a, it's not a word. I dunno.

Rich Fettke (00:10:39):
Look it up.

Brandon Turner (00:10:40):
uh, conver here, watch this. Is conversate a word.

Kathy Fettke (00:10:44):
I found this on the

Brandon Turner (00:10:45):
Web. Conversate is a non-standard verb that means to have a conversation. There we go. The standard verb is that the one that you should use, if you want to be correct, is Converse.

Rich Fettke (00:10:55):
Converse.

Brandon Turner (00:10:56):
So conversate, conversated an informal dinosaur, but we're all right. I guess that's what we're going with. It's moral the story anyway. So it's a great practice to again, do what are, let's, let's dive into that. What are other things you guys do as a married couple to stay aligned on your vision, on your goals, on your business, things like that.

Kathy Fettke (00:11:10):
Hmm. Every year we uh, get together as a family with the kids and just review the year before, what were the highlights mm-hmm. , what were the personal things that we improved in our lives. The theme of the year Rich leads us through this. But we, we review because so often you'll go through life and not really look back at how far you've come or, or what you really gained or you know, what wasn't working mm-hmm. and, and then be able to take that into the next year by, you know, looking at that and saying, oh, I want to do more of this. I was more confident last year. I want to even be more confident and it would look like this. Or, you know, the theme of this year, I want to be, uh, more freedom or more be more present with my kids or whatever it is. And, and doing that as a family and then also having our whole family be involved in, in that vision, but also in the house rules. Yeah. Because I know that sounds weird, we don't have little kids anymore, but they're grown up kids and they're awesome. Like they turned out and they're, they're, they're we're so close to them and to me that is the greatest wealth.

Brandon Turner (00:12:11):
Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:12:11):
I would love to take out on more parenting stuff, but I want to take a quick side detour. Uh, because one thing I always try to do towards the beginning of the show is we, we have a sponsor of each show, but one thing unique that we do on the show is every guest, uh, gets to pick where all the ad revenue from that episode goes. So any ad revenue we generate, uh, and and goes towards a charity of your choosing. So incredible. Yeah. What breaks your guys' heart? I mean, what do you wanna support, whether it's an actually charity or just a cause that you both care about? What do you guys feel there?

Kathy Fettke (00:12:38):
I just, I it's so cool that you asked that. I, I, I jumped in cause I knew Rich was gonna say some organizations that we already donate to. Yeah. But the one that I really would like to funnel some money to is, is an orphanage that our daughter, our youngest daughter found on her trip in Asia. She went to Cambodia and many, Cambodia is one of the poorest countries in the, in the world. Yeah. And during the pandemic, the orphanages weren't getting any more funding and she went and worked at one, fell in love with these children and the owner said, I'm gonna have to send them back on the street. Mm-hmm. He, he's like, we can't continue funding it. So she started doing fundraisers to keep the doors open, but it would sure be nice to send them a little bit more money cuz they, they had to stop the school that they had. They were taking in all the kids and teaching them. So to me it would be helping Krista, I think that's

Rich Fettke (00:13:25):
Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. She's got such a big heart. And these kids just loved her. The photos of them all, like just mobbed around her

Kathy Fettke (00:13:31):
And all that stuff couldn't speak the same language at all, but it didn't matter. They were playing games and . Yeah. They just love her.

Rich Fettke (00:13:37):
Yeah. And they're truly kids who, you know, life has been hard for 'em without parents and, and all that. It's like, yeah. They're they're doing their best.

Brandon Turner (00:13:45):
Yeah. Really good. We'll put a link to the actual like, you know, the, the, the place so people can also donate, but then we'll donate all the revenue from this to that. That's, uh, that's good. That's

Kathy Fettke (00:13:53):
Wonderful.

Brandon Turner (00:13:54):
Yeah. So with that cue the ad.

Brandon Turner (00:14:00):
Hey yo, it's Brandon. This is that ad spot we mentioned earlier, like you heard a hundred percent of this week's ad revenue is going toward a charity of the guest choosing. So here's that ad spot by listening, you're making a real financial impact on the world. Today's sponsor is the Real Estate Investing Summit in Maui. Yeah. That's actually the conference I'm throwing here in Hawaii. It's gonna be a two day in-person event at the Grand Hyatt in Kop Poly Hawaii on Maui, May 22nd, 23rd, 2023. This is a dual track event, which means we're gonna have two tracks at one time. One for new investors, one for experienced investors, and you can pick whatever one you want to go to. We got speakers lined up like David Green hosted the Bigger Pockets podcast. Jay Papasan, investor and author of the One Thing, uh, Wendy Papa Tar Yer, AJ Osborn, rich and Kathy Feki, Brian Burke, and me of course, and a whole lot more.

(00:14:46):
And while this event is part of the accountability Mastermind now run called the Better Life Tribe, we're actually opening up the few remaining tickets for the general population right now. So yeah, that actually means you can come if you hurry and, uh, get your tickets and you should, if you wanna lean into investing in real estate to fund your future, you'll network with speakers and attendees. You'll get a ton of knowledge and wisdom about strategies and tactics that are working now. And you'll make some great friends at the same time. Now look, we only have 300 total spots for the event. This is not one of those huge two, 3000 person conferences. We're gonna get lost in the crowd. This is intimate, powerful and life-changing. But because it's small, it's also gonna sell out quick. So for more information, if you wanna come, I'd love to have you go to r ei maui.com again, that is r e i maui.com.

Brandon Turner (00:15:32):
It's kind of a cool idea, right? Because like then the guests that we have on the show is incentivized when we get big guests, they're in, because the more downloads of the show, the more money that it generates for ad revenue. Sure. And the more money they give. So they are in, like, all of our guests are incentivized to promote

Rich Fettke (00:15:45):
The show. That's really good.

Brandon Turner (00:15:46):
And cause all the revenue goes. Right. So it was kind of a cool,

Brandon Turner (00:15:49):
That's so

Brandon Turner (00:15:49):
Smart. Yeah. So if we get, you know, like a, you know, a math McConaughey where he knows that like peop like the advertisers paying per, you know, a thousand views or whatever of the show. Like they're gonna want, oh wait, if I pump this and get a million people that's gonna generate, you know, 50 grand or a hundred grand like that. Wow. It's kind of a

Rich Fettke (00:16:02):
Cool, like, or something. It's close to his heart. Exactly. Wants Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:16:06):
It's a, it's a neat, like, yeah. I don't know what anybody else in the podcast world doing that. I don't, I've never heard of it. So we made it up some. Anyway, . Alright. All right. So let's go back to parenting stuff because you guys have uh, what, what's your two daughters? Two daughters. All right. Two daughters. And they, they

Rich Fettke (00:16:18):
Three-year-old grandson. Okay.

Brandon Turner (00:16:20):
Yeah. They seem great. Like I've heard amazing stories. You guys talk, so as somebody, I asked this every guest because this is near and dear to my heart, and a lot of our listeners are also people with young kids. As somebody with younger kids, what advice do you have? For me? I got a three year old and a 60 year old. Like, we're in it right now.

Kathy Fettke (00:16:34):
Yeah. You're in it. . Yeah,

Brandon Turner (00:16:35):
, .

Rich Fettke (00:16:36):
I mean, for me, number one is complete openness. Like, you can tell me anything and I'm not gonna get upset. I'm not gonna judge you. I'm just, I want to hear it. I want to learn. And to this day, our daughters have been completely open. They tell me more than sometimes I want to know what I'm ready for. But, but it's been, I would say that's the, the, the biggest thing is that complete openness of no judgment. Cuz you know, our daughters would come home from school and say, you know, my friend doesn't tell her parents any of this stuff and she's doing all this stuff behind the scenes. Yeah. You know, whatever it is. Drinking or partying or, you know, early sex or whatever sex. Yeah. You know, and we were so open that, you know, our daughters didn't tell us everything.

Kathy Fettke (00:17:18):
Yeah. Well, and, and those kids would come over because they wanted someone, they wanted advice, but they couldn't go to their parents cuz it wouldn't, wouldn't be a safe place for them. Yeah. That was huge. So I, uh, you know, my daughter would have sleepovers with seven or eight girls and we'd sit in a circle and they'd just wanted advice. I was

Rich Fettke (00:17:32):
Like, Kathy time. Yeah. It was really sweet. Yeah. Kathy be in bed with all of 'em there. I'm in big circle and Oh, that's

Kathy Fettke (00:17:38):
So beautiful. Yeah. And like, these girls were so young and you know, they would say, well, this boy wants me to do this thing and if I do it then I'll be his girlfriend. And I was like, huh, do you wanna do that thing? No. . Um, well why don't you, you know, just wait and, and see if he'll be his girlfriend first and then you can consider that. So she's like, oh, okay, I'll ask him this

Kathy Fettke (00:17:58):
Next day. She's like, Nope. He doesn't want .

Kathy Fettke (00:18:01):
Okay, well you got your answer. Yeah. Do you know they just need someone to talk to. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:18:05):
You know? Yeah. Growing up, I never, like none of my three siblings, me and three siblings, we never once ever talked about crushes or like girls we liked or, you know, a guy that my sister liked ne never had that conversation. We never had those with my parents. And I don't know why I sometimes, you know, speculate. Is it because like as a kid they teased us like in, in like, you know, lightly, you know, like, oh, you got a girlfriend, you're like, you're

Rich Fettke (00:18:29):
Fives

Brandon Turner (00:18:29):
One little comedy. Yeah. Like, oh, Brendan's got a girlfriend. Like with the little kid at daycare. Did that cut that? I bet it did. So I'm like, one thing I'm trying to do is being very careful with Rosie and Wilder to like never tease them about a boy or girl. Mm-hmm. Because I want them coming to me. Cuz I never came to my parents. Yeah. Uh, with any of it. I mean Yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:18:46):
That's no matter what they tell you young, no matter what they say, it's just like, oh, tell me more. Ask questions. Yeah. And yeah, I think that's big.

Kathy Fettke (00:18:53):
And I, I think another thing is to just understand that children need attention so badly. Mm. There are studies that show that if a baby has all the things that physically needs food, warmth but doesn't have attention and touch and love, they they can die. Yeah. Even if they have all, all the physical needs mm-hmm. . So your kids are going to do whatever it takes to get attention. Yeah. And if that means being bad and that's the only way they can get your attention, they're gonna be extra bad. So what we have to learn as parents is to give them the good at positive reinforcement attention we would, rich would take each of our daughters, well we both would on mommy or daddy daughter dates. Just one kid, one parent go away for the weekend and have incredible one-on-one time. Yeah. Where you're completely devoted to them. There's nothing else distracting you. And that is like food. That's food for a wife too. Yeah. Yeah. Her husband's what I'm sure that's one of the big things Rich is learned is that I just need attention mm-hmm. , you know. Yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:19:52):
Um, and going places where there's no cell signal is really good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, we'd go to Joshua Tree and camp out mm-hmm. Under the stars and have these great conversations and there's, there's no desire to, there's

Kathy Fettke (00:20:02):
No ability to get on the phone ability. Yeah. And I would do the same. We would just, I would just get in the car and I'd be like, Hey, the we'll go over the car takes us. Yeah. And we end up in some cool place once it was Yosemite. Oh, that's cool. So, but yeah, just being very conscious of the kind of attention you're giving your child, is it a constant discipline? Is it a constant telling you what to do? Or is it, is, is, is it at least combined with positive stuff? Like, Hey, let's play this game or tell me about your day and really listen mm-hmm. ,

Brandon Turner (00:20:32):
You know. Yeah. That's really good. What about like the transfer of knowledge of wealth? I mean, you guys teach wealth, like you guys are some of the best in the planet for like showing people how to build wealth and you help people through your business. We can get into that in a little bit, but what about your kids? Like, did you, how, how much did you push that? How much did you push the idea of real estate or business and how much did you just let them figure it out on their own?

Kathy Fettke (00:20:53):
I mean, I could say with our older daughter, we didn't have wealth, so it was okay. Yeah. It was a little bit challenging because we lived in a wealthy neighborhood. Mm-hmm. and her friends had nice things that, you know, she wanted too. Um, but when she was very little, when you have little ones and you take 'em into the store, they want everything. Right? Yes. Yeah. So we learned early on that, you know, don't, don't say no, no. It makes them want it more, but just like, sure. How could you have that mm-hmm. , how, let me show you how you could have that, let's look at this, this is, this is how much this cost and really help them understand. And then we would give them money. It would be like, here's a dollar you get to spend this dollar and help them understand the value of it and how far it could go. Remember, remember Disneyland,

Rich Fettke (00:21:37):
? Yeah. Oh yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. It's perfect. And so I would say it's not so much lessons in wealth, it was lessons in entrepreneurship. Mm-hmm. It was how to be entrepreneurial, how to think different. We never tried to support the thing of just getting a job Yeah. To get a paycheck. Yeah. So, and you know, our daughters are very entrepreneurial. Mm-hmm. , it's really cool to see it, how it plays out. Yeah. That's

Kathy Fettke (00:21:58):
Awesome. Yeah. It's the same thing. Uh, Disneyland, you have all intentions of having a good time, but then you bring your kids there and you're like, well this isn't fun at all. Yeah. Because they want everything, right? Mm-hmm. . Um, so we would, you know, again, when they're little it's harder, but they can, they can grasp it a little bit. With Karina, she, she had to have been, I don't know, six or seven at the time when we went to Disneyland. And we really literally had no money. So it wasn't like Yeah. We were just being mean . It was just like, I'm sorry, we were, you're lucky you have a ticket. Right. Yeah. So, you know, it was like we, we were able to, I think maybe even a grandparent gave $50. So it was like, honey, this $50 has gonna last you three days at Disneyland. Mm-hmm. And, and within, within an hour, you know, she found a Barbie she wanted and, and it was $50 and it's like, honey, this is, this is all you're gonna get. And she was like, that's fine. She throws it there and

Rich Fettke (00:22:48):
It breaks. Oh

Brandon Turner (00:22:49):
No. There's

Rich Fettke (00:22:50):
Whipping, whipping it up in the air and catching it. She was so happy. , she, she caught it great until she didn't Oh no.

Kathy Fettke (00:22:55):
. Yeah. But she understood like, now I can't really ask for anything else. I spent it. Yeah. You

Brandon Turner (00:23:00):
Know, we went to Disney World last year with Rosie. She was five. Uh, cuz she doesn't, she didn't understand money enough yet today she might actually understand dollars a little more, but she didn't understand it. So we instead we'd give her like three coins and we were just like, you know those like little, like you make a penny out of the little crank thing. Yeah. Yeah. So we give her like three of those mm-hmm. and we're like, this is all you get for the day and each one will buy you one special small thing. Mm. Uh and so a small thing could be an ice cream cone or it could be a little tiny toy, you know, something like, like, you know, cause I mean really every one of those like 20 bucks anyway. But like no, we're like, you get three little things a day.

(00:23:30):
And so she had to learn how to budget it. Like if she wanted ice cream, if she wanted a, a snow cone, whatever the thing is. Yeah. And again, it was fun to watch her brain like Yeah. Try to work that through. Cuz she wasn't used to that where she got to make the decision mm-hmm. . Uh, and so yeah, that's something I'm gonna try to implement more and more of. Like, in fact, we're gonna start, I never wanted to give her an allowance, but now we're gonna start doing the, you know, these are chores that you can earn money. Like these are free ones and these are paid ones. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. and starting even at now, she's six, almost seven. Yeah. Just trying to learn, you know, how to balance between wanting to earn more and then not have to work too much and play more. And I think it's,

Rich Fettke (00:24:02):
I love that you posted something a while ago. It must have been a year ago, something about paying your kid to finish a book. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was great. I'm like, if I could go back, I definitely would've done that with our kids. Yeah. To,

Brandon Turner (00:24:15):
Yeah. I will pay my kid to read Rich Dad Port ad For sure.

Rich Fettke (00:24:18):
Yeah. Like write

Brandon Turner (00:24:18):
A book report on Rich Dad

Rich Fettke (00:24:19):
Port. Yeah, exactly. That's internalize it. I think that's really valuable.

Brandon Turner (00:24:23):
Yeah. They need to have that mindset shift. They're not gonna, they're not gonna read it anyway, like for a while until, until you pay 'em. And then maybe they will. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. I think Patrick Blake, David said something about that too recently where like, that was their allowance was like every book they read they got a little bit of money.

Rich Fettke (00:24:35):
So I think it's really smart. Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:24:37):
Yeah. And one other thing I thought was really cool, cause Krista tells us this, when we moved to Malibu, uh, suddenly she was with the wealthiest people in the world. And uh, the first, I think the first day she came home and she's like, mom, , how many houses do we have

Brandon Turner (00:24:52):
? And I'm like,

Kathy Fettke (00:24:53):
Well, I mean, are you trying to compare with your friends here in Malibu mm-hmm. , like how many houses they have? And she's like, yeah, because I wanna go. I told 'em we have 14 . I was like, did you tell them they were like $50,000 houses in Ohio? ? She's like, no, we just sat her down. We go, honey, you're never gonna win this game. Yeah. In Malibu, you are never gonna be the richest girl here. Mm-hmm. . And you're never going to be able to impress these kids with the clothes that you wear and the places you go and the houses you have and blah blah . That's not gonna happen. But you can develop other things that will be really impressive. Like your sense of humor mm-hmm. , um, your, your athleticism, your your kindness, how much you can raise for charities. Cuz actually Malibu High has a huge charitable program. And you know, just the how, how you could be the best person you can be. Yeah. That's how you'll win that game. Yeah. But you're not gonna win it by having better shoes. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:25:46):
And then you can't win it. Like

Rich Fettke (00:25:47):
Always, never. You never win it. Yeah. So I, it that's, that's a, I remember some of those lessons. It was, it's like what gets acknowledged gets repeated, right? Mm-hmm. . So we would often look and always look for, you know, what is it that, what's that character that is standing out right now and acknowledging that like mm-hmm. , you're such a giver or you're so creative or whatever. Yeah. I think that was huge.

Brandon Turner (00:26:09):
Yeah. Yeah. One of the, uh, best pieces of parenting advice I ever got. And it wasn't, he wasn't even giving me advice, but he was talking about his kids when he, he's got two young boys and every time he'd go to parent-teacher conferences, the teacher would wanna lay into like, you know, this is what he is doing in science as when he's struggling in reading here. Like, well the kids. And he'd always be like, nah, I don't care. Mm-hmm. , how's their character? Mm-hmm. like, tell me about their character in school. Like, are they kind? Are they loving? Are they, he's like, that's the only thing I care about. And that stuck with me. I mean, probably 10 years ago I heard that before I had kids. It's always stuck with me is like, what's their character? That's because that's gonna develop, because is their grit strong? Like, those are things we wanna acknowledge and reward and lean into. I don't care if they can't read at six, they'll read at seven. Like, it doesn't doesn't really bother me. It just doesn't matter. Yeah. It just doesn't matter. So. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, speaking of wealth, uh, you wrote a book Rich on Wealth . It's called The Wise Investor, A Modern Parable about creating financial freedom and Living Your Best Life. And, uh, I'm actually on the back cover because I read it and it was phenomenal. Yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:27:05):
You are one of the first readers of Theta Reader for feedback.

Brandon Turner (00:27:07):
So Yeah. And I'm right below Robert Kiyosaki, which is a good place to be. Two Legends. Ah, I love it. Uh, tell me about the book. Tell me why you wrote it. Who's it for? What's it about?

Rich Fettke (00:27:15):
You know, I had written a couple non-fiction books and I read a stat about non-fiction books and it's like 86% of people do not finish them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And I was like, no, I don't want to write another book like that. Yeah. So, uh, and people finish stories. So I wanted to write a compelling story that would pull people in and teach lessons at the same time. So that's why I went with the parable. And the lessons are all, everything that we've learned from the last 25 years running our company, interviewing people about how do they create wealth in their lives and how do they live with what we call real wealth. Yeah. Which is more than just money. It's like, you know, the whole thing to have living a better life. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's what real wealth really is. So it's, I just wanted to weave all those, uh, together in a story that was gonna be compelling that people wanted to, you know, turn the pages and finish the book. Yeah. That's really good. Basically, it tells that story of a kind of a struggling 40 something family man who has no time for his kids or his wife. Or his wife. It's a common tale. Then he meets a wise mentor who shows him a new way to create wealth. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:28:16):
Well, what is, what is, I mean, you said real wealth is more than money. Mm-hmm. , how would you define real wealth? Yeah,

Rich Fettke (00:28:22):
Why don't you define real

Kathy Fettke (00:28:23):
Wealth? Uh, well, we've always defined it as, well, let me, let me start with we, having lived in high net worth areas, our kids would tell us what it was really like in some of those homes. In fact, almost all of the homes, uh, where the kids wouldn't talk to their parents and Yeah. They, they couldn't even find their parents. Their houses were so big , you know? Yeah. And they were raised by yelled at other by, yeah. By nannies. And, and their mother never cooked for them. And our little tiny place was always full of kids, and I would make them food. And they just thought that was amazing that, that the mother would be feeding them, you know? So, you know, wealth is not that, it's not a, a big empty house with unhappy children, you know, that's nots not wealth. Wealth. We've had people come to, to Real Wealth who all they wanted was maybe this one guy just wanted to be an artist.

(00:29:09):
Yeah. He just wanted to spend his day doing art. And so when we sat with him, I was like, well, what are your expenses? What's it gonna take for you to do that? It was like 2, 2 2500 a month was all he needed to live his dream. Yeah. So it's not about the money. It's about how much time can you free up to live life the way that you want? To me, that that's what Real wealth is. And, and he considered himself financially free immediately. He was able to get the right assets that would give him enough passive income to be able to create art all day. Yeah. You know, to be job optional. Yeah. That's

Rich Fettke (00:29:41):
Cool. Yeah. And, you know, and for me, when that, it was, the reason we call our company Real Wealth was the reason it was formed was I had six, I was diagnosed with cancer. Mm-hmm. And they told me I had six months to live. They thought melanoma had spread to my liver. Uh, thankfully they were wrong. It was a false positive, they call it a false diagnosis. But I went for three months not knowing if I was gonna be alive for six months. We had a 10 year old daughter, a three-year-old daughter. So it really rocked our world. And that's what, that was the impetus for Kathy to say, what am I gonna do here if Rich dies? Yeah. So she sought out mentors and found out about real estate investing and said, this is what I can do. So that was kind of the birth of our company, real Wealth. And so we wove that into the fabric of the company is, it's not just about making money, it's having the time to be able to be with your kids, to be with your family. When you have enough money, it's, you don't come from a place of scarcity. Yeah. You come from a place of abundance and you are, you're a better parent, you're a better human. You know, I think it's, that's really big. Yeah. So that's, it's like purpose driven. So that's what we're about. We're helping people. I

Brandon Turner (00:30:43):
Love that. Love

Rich Fettke (00:30:44):
It. Creating real wealth.

Brandon Turner (00:30:45):
Well, but I want to, I want to dig into how you built that all, but before, I can't, I can't leave that situation of like, I mean, thinking you might die mm-hmm. , right? Like where, like, what was going through your head? I mean, like, like were you mad at the world, angry at God, you know, like that whole thing? Like, or were you, that was part of it accepting it, like Yeah. How, where were you at?

Rich Fettke (00:31:02):
Uh, it was painful. It was like, I remember leaving the doctor's office after I met with an oncologist. Yeah. And he just, he looked down at his file and he goes, yeah, it looks like it's spread to your liver. And I said, what does that mean? He said, you probably have six months to live. And I just, I left his office and I remembered driving along, and this wave came over me and I just started punching my steering wheel. Mm-hmm. with tears, you know, screaming, just, I can't say what I said there, , you know, . But, uh, yeah, it was really, it started with anger. Yeah. Anger. And I don't believe this. And I came home and walked in to the kitchen. I had tears in my eyes and Kathy's just like, what's, what's the matter? He's like, I only cry if I'm happy, you know, .

(00:31:40):
And, uh, yeah. So it was, it was a lot of fear. Then I started to just going to the belief of like, most of the time I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get over this. I'm gonna, you know, take that, I'm gonna fight this and we're gonna win and everything. Yeah. But then I would still have that little voice that would be like, but you're not gonna see your daughter grow up. You know, you're not gonna, you know your daughters, you know, you're not gonna see your daughters get married, you're not gonna have see your grandkids, all that stuff. So then that would hit home. So yeah. It was, it was pretty painful.

Kathy Fettke (00:32:08):
Yeah. We have a friend who's, he calls himself a healer, and, uh, I just thought, let's just have a session with Rich and y you know, he sat with Rich and this is, this is stuff actually that Rich was teaching that he forgot for a moment. And this I remind Yeah. Reminded him and he just looks at Rich and he goes, how much of you believes that you're going to live? Mm. And what'd you say? I

Rich Fettke (00:32:32):
Said, like, you know, 70% of the time I feel I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna get through it, but 30% of the time, I, I think I'm gonna die.

Kathy Fettke (00:32:39):
And he goes, that 30% is killing you. Oh yeah. He said it in such not like that. Yeah. But a very powerful, powerful voice was booming and it was just like, he knows that. Yeah. It's like, you gotta be a hundred percent

Rich Fettke (00:32:52):
In. He said, from this point forward, whenever that little voice comes in and says, you're gonna die, he say, Nope, I'm a hundred percent I'm gonna be, well, this is gonna be fine. And it was amazing. It was like the energy of that 30% thinking I was gonna die was actually destroying me. Yeah. And it was pulling me down. And whenever that would come up after that talk with Greg, I was just like, no, I'm gonna be good. I'm gonna be good. And it just shifted my energy. Mm-hmm. , it had me be more present with my family. I wasn't, woe was me. And Yeah. And then I got the great news after a PET scan, I had to wait, I did an ultrasound, a CT scan, and eventually a PET scan, which is the most advanced scan for cancer. And it came back and said, you're cancer free. So they think it's just clusters of blood vessels that showed up on the ultrasound and CT scan.

Kathy Fettke (00:33:39):
Wow. As far as the metastasis, like he, they cut out the, the rest of the,

Rich Fettke (00:33:43):
Yeah. Alone the room for my skin. But yeah, they had thought it had spread to my liver. So how'd you

Brandon Turner (00:33:47):
Celebrate that ? Oh

Rich Fettke (00:33:49):
Man. I was just, I was actually at a Christian retreat with Kathy's dad and brothers and everything. And, uh, I didn't grow up Christian. I was just like, I'm gonna try this. I mean, yeah. Yeah. So I was there, we were doing, we were prayers and everything, and we were actually all in a room together and my phone rang and I said, excuse me guys, I gotta step outside. And I got the no the news. So I was just like, whoa. Yeah. . This is pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. So just celebrated. I, I called my mom first cuz she was the most freaked. Yeah. So I called her and just let her know. And then I called Kathy and this cel celebrated with tears and Yep. Yeah. Cel, I'm just happy. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:34:24):
Well, there, there's a, there's a passage somewhere in the Bible. I don't even know what, what book it's in, where they, I think it's Jesus saying, when you, when you ask for something like ask like with a hundred percent confidence, this is big. Was saying the same exact, so this is like, this goes back thousands of years of like Yeah. Like, don't doubt, like you expect it, receive it. Like this is Yeah. That's faith. It's like I'm gonna, and it doesn't always work out that way's mm-hmm. , but there's something magical, mystical, spiritual, whatever about that unwavering faith. Mm-hmm. , I says, no, this, I'm going to be okay. A hundred percent. Okay.

Kathy Fettke (00:34:57):
Especially when your whole self is aligned with that. Yeah. Uh, Greg said he saw it leave. Mm-hmm. Like, he, he said it, it left because there was no room for it anymore. Yeah. Like he had made goose

Brandon Turner (00:35:09):
Shift.

Kathy Fettke (00:35:09):
Yeah. And I, at the same time was having that with money. Mm-hmm. Because I didn't, I somehow wasn't worried. Like I just, I'm like, look at him, you know, I, he jumps off bridges and he, you know, he's doing surfing hurricane waves and jumping off rocks. I mean, I was like, no way is a freckle gonna take it . So to take him away from me, , I just didn't believe it at all. Yeah. And I refused to let myself go there, but I also knew that he needed space and he had been the breadwinner. I'd been the stay-at-home mom and I just, I remember sitting with our friends and it was New Year's Eve and we were all toasting and I had that same a hundred percent moment of like, going from complete doubt, like what do I know about money and how we had just bought a house that was $4,000 a month.

(00:35:57):
Now that's like probably 12,000 a month today. Yeah. You know, and it was nothing I could, I could say it was our first house. Yeah. It was our first house. Uh, it was just like, I don't know how to do this. Mm-hmm. and I, all that dealt was eating me up too, of how am I gonna take care of my family during this time? And I don't wanna be working a full-time job away from him, you know, if the doctor was right. Yeah. Which I didn't believe he was. Right. But I remember same thing, we toasted and I had that same like, 100% I'm gonna figure this out and I will be wealthy. Yeah. It wasn't, there was zero doubt. Like, I got this and same thing shivers down my body, no room for doubt. And every now and then I feel like I'm an eagle. I feel like I'm a human bird. Like, just going, don't look down . Yep. Don't look down. Mm-hmm. Just don't look back. You got this, you

Brandon Turner (00:36:45):
Know. Yeah. That's, that's so good. . You know, one of my, uh, performance, my performance coach, Jason Drees has this thing, and I'll probably butcher it, but he basically says, most people in the world, they ask how to do something and then they decide and then they commit to doing it. Uh, if they're going to, once they've, they've figured out the how and they're like, all I'm not gonna do that. Yes. I'll do it now. I'm committed. He says, just like to reverse that. Yes. Like, commit first. Like I'm gonna do it.

Rich Fettke (00:37:05):
That's what you did. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:37:06):
I'm like, we're gonna do it. We're gonna be wealthy. Still do it. Yeah. Because now of a sudden you're operating from a frame or a framework that says, I'm going to, like, I'm already doing it. Like I'm committed to it. I've decided, okay, now I'm gonna figure out how. Like Yeah. And, and if you, if you start from that, like, oh, is it possible? I'm not really sure I wanna be wealthy, you know, that's cool. Yeah. You're, you're never gonna do it. Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:37:25):
And everything aligns with that vision when you're a hundred percent. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:37:28):
Cause I think it changes your identity a little bit. Mm-hmm. like, oh, I'm, I'm a wealthy person, I just haven't got the money yet. Yeah. You know, it's like,

Kathy Fettke (00:37:34):
It, it changes your energy, which changes who you're attracted to and who's attracted to you, the people that you meet. E everything changes. Yeah. Oh, you, I I do believe we attract similar energy. Yeah. So if we're, if we're doubtful or unsure, we're gonna probably attract doubtful people or doubtful situations. , you

Rich Fettke (00:37:53):
Know, yeah's So true. Yeah. And the sh and it shifted. So it was like that curse turned into a blessing. Yeah. The curse of that is what got Kathy to be like, what am I gonna do? Yep. That turned us onto real estate investing. Mm-hmm. , we started to invest, but the real wealth that we made was when we started to serve others to help them create wealth. Yeah. And we started to help people get into investment properties and teach them Yeah. Financial intelligence and all that. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:38:15):
So let's talk about that. What is Real Wealth Network? How does that, like where, let's talk about that journey and what do you guys do and, uh, how do you help people and how do you make money yourself doing it? Sure.

Rich Fettke (00:38:23):
Well, to put, there's different parts of it. I mean, we started, you know, this is 20 years ago Yeah. When there was still 25, 25 years ago Yeah. When we're doing that. Right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was so many of these real estate clubs with the back of the room sales, Google and everything. And so we decided that back then to be the anti guru. Yeah. And just ev all our, you're gonna have four bigger pocket Cool. . Yeah. Everything's free. Our live events are free. Yeah. Um, webinars are free and, but the way we monetize it is we would refer people to property teams and brokers around the country so they could acquire rental properties, one to four units mostly. And so I'm a broker, so we get a broker to broker referral fee, just like any real estate transaction. So we started to do that. That was the, that was the beginning of the business. And, and we still do that today and we help a lot of people get into single families. And then we started to syndicate in 2010. You might as well once,

Kathy Fettke (00:39:12):
Don't you? Uh, yeah. I mean, you know, at the beginning of it all, it was kind of my desperate attempt to understand wealth, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. and I, I had a background in broadcasting. I'd been in, um, working in newsrooms before I became a stay-at-home mom, but I still wanted to be plugged into that world. So I still had a weekend radio show and I don't think it was very good. I don't think I had a very good audience. I would take like a headline news story and just ramble about it. Mm-hmm. . Um, so, but then I was like, okay, for this mission, I am now going to discover what I don't know about wealth. What other pe I didn't know anyone who was wealthy. Yeah. I didn't know how that world worked. So I just started interviewing, uh, people who were creating wealth.

(00:39:55):
So it, it, it started somewhat self selfishly like, I want to learn this. And then all of a sudden our phones were ringing. Like peop there was this whole audience who also wanted to learn it. Yeah. So in those early days, it was just really cool because we were learning together. I would bring in a guest, I'd be like, what? I didn't know you could finance, but back then it was like, no money down. Unlimited investment properties. Yes, please. . Uh, so there was it, you know, you could fix your credit. I didn't know that. Wait, you can get asset protection. Amazing. Wait, someone pays off your debt for you. How can this be? Uh, just like every single day, you know the feeling mm-hmm. Just being mind blown. Yep. And as I was mind blown, so was our audience. And it just kept growing that way. Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke (00:40:40):
Yeah. And then syndications.

Kathy Fettke (00:40:42):
Well, and then with Syndications, so the show grew well, right around whenever podcasts came out at 2003,

Rich Fettke (00:40:49):
2005.

Kathy Fettke (00:40:49):
Five, something like that. Five, yeah. I was doing the radio show in Rich, had his little iPod and um, you know, I was thought like, what do you need that for? You can listen to music on a cd, right? Yeah. But he loved his iPod, and, and uh, and I was so mad cause it was like 300 bucks, right? Yeah. Yeah. like what? Yeah.

Rich Fettke (00:41:05):
Who needs

Kathy Fettke (00:41:06):
This, who needs this. But it ended up that he got a little message on his iPod and it, it said, you, you know, podcast, it was this new thing and you could upload your shows. So he is like, oh, let's try it. So he'd upload my radio show commercials and all, you know. Right, right. Straight from the, from the radio. The cd, yeah. The, yeah. Mm-hmm. . And, uh, those are the first complaints I had. It was like, why dot, why don't you edit out the commercials?

Rich Fettke (00:41:27):
, you know, . Because I didn't know how

Kathy Fettke (00:41:28):
, but suddenly overnight, because Rich did that, I had listeners worldwide. Hmm. And so then right around 2009, when, when US Real Estate was at, you know, at the lowest rate. Yeah. Uh, values had just tanked. A listener from Australia heard my podcast and called and said, you know, we are, Ozzie dollar has doubled in strength, and the US dollar had gone down. Mm-hmm. and US real Estate was in some cases down 75%. Yeah. So Ozzies could come in and get stuff for like 10 cents on the dollar. Yeah. So they flew us out like the next month. Next thing I know, we were standing and speaking in front of a room with th a thousand Australians begging to take our Mon their money. Mm-hmm. , they're like, just to take our money and buy us stuff. And we're like, I don't think that's how it works.

(00:42:18):
Um, so then we ended up, um, then at the same time a developer had been listening to the podcast. It all came from the podcast. And he said, I'm going into banks and we're finding stuff for 10 cents on the dollar. Can you raise money? I'm like, I got Australians throwing money at me. Yeah. Yes. Uh, so I, we hired an attorney, figured out the S E C C thing. I was one of the first to, to be doing it and just started buying up land and developments that were 70% complete, but the bank just failed. Uh, that's sort of a theme these days. Yeah. . Um, and the, and the, you know, the construction loans that the builders were depending on were suddenly not there. It was crazy times. But those all went to the F D I C and we were able to pick them up for, for so cheap. Yeah. Now that's how, that's when we started syndicating, started syndicating learned, learned a lot of hard lessons. Yeah. Made, made huge returns. Made no returns. Mm-hmm. . I mean, there was, it was the Wild, wild West, but, you know, being, being out the gate first, sometimes you're the one who gets to, gets to learn. Yeah. The hard way. Yep. So I'm here to teach people how not to do it the hard way now.

Rich Fettke (00:43:20):
. Right. Yeah. Lessons learned. So that's, I mean, that's basically what we do at Real Wealth. Yeah. We help people get into investment properties and also this syndication things. And uh, and then just this year we just started to do some, everyone's been asking us for masterminds Yep. For years. Just cuz our coaching background and everything. So this year we finally done two masterminds. Oh, that's cool. Which is really fun. It's just amazing to see people just grow, you know, I was always such a one-on-one coach. Mm-hmm. And even when Kathy said, we should do a mastermind here and we've got the perfect space for it, I was like, ah, I don't know. I'm, um, one-on-one coach, you know? And, uh, yeah. But it was like, it felt like one-on-one coaching, you know? Yeah. Because you just connect to that one person in, in each conversation. Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:43:58):
It's so fun to see people just transform before your very eyes. Mm-hmm. , I had one woman at, uh, I have a Women's syndication mastermind because there's so many syndication masterminds for men. Yeah. And it's just a different vibe. Right. I mean, we're, it was a group of women, so we could just cry a lot. we did. But one, one, um, just for whatever reason, she didn't feel worthy of telling her story. And she's like, I turned down podcasts all the time. What do I have to say? Mm-hmm. , like, what do you mean? What do you have to say? By the end, she was so transformed. She sends us, she ends up sending us, look, I'm on this podcast and I'm on this. Oh, that's cool. They love my story. Yeah. It's so cool. It's just beautiful.

Brandon Turner (00:44:37):
Yeah. And this is gonna be a large over simplification and, uh, stereotype, but, uh, it seems like so many men are like, I'm not that good at that, but I'm gonna go tell everybody how, like, about it . And then a lot of women are like, awesome at something. They're like, ah, what do I have to share? Right. Yeah. Like, like it's just, it's just even her. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I've, I've all

Kathy Fettke (00:44:55):
The time seen it.

Brandon Turner (00:44:55):
Yeah. Well, maybe you can speak, uh, Kathy to the women that are listening to this, like, how can they gain more confidence to know that they're worthy and deserving to share their story mm-hmm. And like that they're, they're valuable and that they can change lives with their story. How can they, how can they, how do you encourage that?

Kathy Fettke (00:45:11):
It's, it's why I'm doing Masterminds for Women now because it just wasn't something that called me until recently. Yeah. Because I still am often the only woman on the stage. It's just, yeah. Bizarre to me. I would say that Rich has been an incredible partner to me in helping, not being threatened by me. I think that can happen a lot, where women don't want their men to feel threatened, so they sometimes stay small. Mm-hmm. . Um, so, you know, you, you need to work together as a couple. He's a big enough man that he's, he wants me to be great. Yeah. You know? Mm-hmm. , I can't say that for past relationships. So, you know, making sure that you're on the same page and that if that's the case, that there's enough counseling and therapy that you, there's space for you both to grow and be great.

(00:45:53):
That's number one. And number two is, like I said, he's, he's nurtured me in, in ways that women haven't been ever, because we, we weren't, we, I was raised where it was almost my, my family thought it was sinful for me to be working and outside the house. Yeah. My role was to be home with the children and obey my husband. Yeah. That's messed my background. So all of a sudden, life thrusts me in this position where I needed to, to take the reins, you know, and let him get better and, and take over the money. So it's like, okay, let's go. And he would, you know, I was afraid to even say my name at a dinner table party. Mm-hmm. , like, that's how shy I was, if you can believe that. Yeah. Not

Brandon Turner (00:46:32):
At all . Right, right.

Kathy Fettke (00:46:34):
And I, I would be like the person who's like shaking and nervous and sweaty hands and everything just to say, hi, I'm Kathy. Mm-hmm. And so he put, he signed us up for Toastmasters and that was terrifying. But each week, you know, you, you say one line and then you say a paragraph, and then you get up and, and you give a tell story one minute speech. And each time it was scary. But with anything in life, if you just just inch inch your way through it, you get better. Yeah. And again, that's been his coaching with me is it's just you don't have to be a great speaker overnight. Yeah. You just gotta do a little bit every day. Just do a little bit every day. So pretty soon after a year of Toastmasters, I was speaking at the convention in front of, and I, believe me, I thought I was gonna faint and throw up and move my pants and all that .

(00:47:19):
I just like, I dunno if I could and I didn't. So that's been, that's just been kind of our theme is like, just doesn't have to be leaps and bounds. That's always fun. But that's, that's hard. Like, we leaped and bounded into real estate. I think by our first time we purchased it was like five houses, five rental houses. And we're like, oh, there's a lot to manage here. Yeah. So it doesn't have to be that. It can just be step-by-step. So that's one, if you're afraid of doing it anything, just find a coach or Toastmaster or something that allows you to practice in a safe way.

Brandon Turner (00:47:49):
That's so good. And that's true for, yeah. Every area of life you can find some organization, group, coach, person, partner, whatever, that can help you through that. Mm-hmm. . But how many people in life are just like, no, I don't do this because of this. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, well, let's just change the this. And then you can do th you can do that. Right? Yeah. Yeah. But most majority of people just never even, you know, never think that way.

Kathy Fettke (00:48:08):
And, and like him, like I, he mentioned one day he wanted to play piano, so I bought him a little, uh, little, what was it, like electronic piano. Keyboard, yeah. Keyboard thing. Um, for, for Christmas. And, and I just thought, just like a lot of gifts, it'll sit there . Yeah. just get, collect dust instead. Like every day for the past 10 years, he plays the piano for 10 minutes. Yeah. Who doesn't have 10 minutes? Yeah. , you know, everyone has it. And he's a really good piano player. Now, I haven't touched the keyboard mm-hmm. . So I can't play. But if I just did 10 minutes, I'd be a great player and I want to, so maybe I will after this . Yeah. But now we're doing dual lingo and learning language. Like I'm a little bit, I'm almost 60. What am I doing? Trying to learn a language. But if you do it like 10 minutes a day, you could do it. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:48:50):
One of the kind of the, I I call it core values maybe of like the better life tribe that we launched. We talk about this thing called tortoise power. And there's like, you know, turtle power, ninja turtle, but tortoise power is like tortoise and the hair, it's like Yeah. Little bit at a time. It's that same thought. Yeah. Like, you don't need to drive, you know, you don't need to drive the football. You know, hail Mary every single play mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Like if, if to go to the foot football metaphor, if every play, you just went three yards. Right. Because for those who are not football people, like, you know, every 10 yards, you basically start over. You have four more tries to get 10 yards. So if, if every play you just made it three yards. Mm-hmm. , you'd go 3, 6, 9, 12. Okay. You, you get to start over. So all you ever have to do to, like, if a team could just get three yards every single time they go, they would be undefeated. Perfect team. They would never lose. Yeah. It would just be constant scoring. Cuz we always get three yards. So Yeah. People, I think especially with real estate, we get this a lot. Right. They see the social media, like social media video. I've got 1200 houses in five location. You know what Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:49:41):
In three years.

Brandon Turner (00:49:41):
Yeah. In three years. Yeah. It's just like, oh, like I remember over, do you remember, you know, Scott McGilvery, he owned, had income property on hgtv. You ever see that show? It was a show on HTV called Income Property. Right. It was all about house hacking. Really the idea of mm-hmm. turning your basement or you know, attic into a rental unit. But I used to watch that show like 20 years ago and every episode started with like Scott McGilvery and I'm probably saying his name wrong, like has 100 houses and blah, blah, blah. And every time I was like, that is impossible. Like, this is such an overwhelming thing to have a hundred prop or a hundred units. He's probably a jerk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kathy Fettke (00:50:14):
.

Brandon Turner (00:50:14):
Yeah. There's no way. Yeah. But then I realized like, yeah, if I was just like, instead of getting overwhelmed by that, if people just started thinking what's my three yard play? Like what is my, just drive the ball three yards. And it's probably as simple as pick up the phone and call a real real estate agent. Yeah. Like listen to a podcast, go to a real estate meetup. They're all little things. In fact, I like to say all success is a series of five minute tasks. Mm-hmm. , like all success is no matter what it is, there's like five minute things. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. If you do 'em consistently, tortoise power. Yeah. Yeah. You get the results that you want. Tortoise power. Yeah. Tortoise power. I wanna make t-shirts that are like, yeah. At least, I don't know, I want to, maybe they think I'm crazy on my team, but I want like the Ninja Turtles. But with stayed tortoise, power . Anyway. I love it. Alright. Question for you, is wealth learnable, like, can people, is that something you're just born with? Or can you learn? Oh

Kathy Fettke (00:50:59):
Yeah. I, I was not, I did not have a wealth mindset. Mm-hmm. , I, I, you probably did. Um,

Rich Fettke (00:51:06):
I think he did. But uh, you know, I'm not sure. Like I started with like, personal development tapes, just, you know, back in the day with cassettes and everything. So I think that helped because, so I think I was absorbing it and learning it and, and seeing a different perspective. But

Kathy Fettke (00:51:19):
Yeah. Yeah. I just, I mean, I, I, I didn't come from lack, my dad was a dentist, but he had five kids and so there wasn't a lot left over. And I was the youngest of five, so I always had the hand me downs and, you know, I just, I, I think I, I was coming from a scarcity mindset a lot. Yeah. Like fear-based, like, I don't know if I'll have enough. And I watched, I came from a generation where my mother and most women didn't work and they were sort of very reliant on their husband. Even if they were in an unhappy marriage, they just had to put up with it. Mm-hmm. . Cause they didn't, they, they couldn't fend for themselves. And, and, uh, so anyway, I didn't have one. And I, it became very clear one day when a friend of ours came just outta the blue and completely lit up our house for Christmas. It probably cost him 500 bucks.

Rich Fettke (00:52:09):
Yeah. It came with a crew of guys.

Kathy Fettke (00:52:10):
Crew of guys. Mm-hmm. , they got ladders, they're lighting up our house, they drag a Christmas tree cause we couldn't afford it and lit up our house, Christmas tree and all. And he's like, ho ho oh, Merry Christmas. He looks down and um, sees a fax machine on the floor that we were gonna sell on Craigslist. And it said $50 on it, so we were gonna sell it. And he goes, oh man, I need a fax machine. I'm like, okay. Yeah. It's 50 bucks.

Rich Fettke (00:52:30):
. . He's like,

Kathy Fettke (00:52:33):
Literally, he's like, like, just like, no thanks, walks out. Yep. Mm-hmm. . And I just look at Rich. I'm like, oh, I think I have a scarcity mindset. Yeah. Oh. Because cuz a an abundant mindset would, would just give Yep. But just give, especially under this condition. Yeah. You know, but it, it just abundance mindset knows that there's enough Yep. And that you will get yours. I was the youngest of five. I never got mine. Mm-hmm. , the cereal was never there for me in the morning.

Rich Fettke (00:52:59):
. Yeah. Right.

Kathy Fettke (00:53:00):
So I had to overcome this. And I remember it was so deep and my fear of poverty and, and remember for women, this goes back centuries Yeah. Of if you are too old or you're not good enough, that you will get tossed out into the river. Mm-hmm. like nobody needs you or wants you. So I, I just, I had to overcome this old cellular stuff and, and so I listened to a CD called Prosperity. Mm-hmm. and it was hypnosis Hmm. To get, like we talked about the beginning of the show. Your subconscious is so powerful and my subconscious still believe that I get thrown out by the time I'm 30. I'll be too old. Whatever. I've gotta take what I can cuz it won't be there for me. Yeah. There won't be enough for me. And I had to shift that this, this went so deep in my subconscious and I had to listen to it every day for 30 days to shift that where there was enough. And I could imagine myself having enough and imagine myself having so much I could give. And it worked. It

Brandon Turner (00:54:00):
Shifted it. And you read the Science of Getting

Kathy Fettke (00:54:01):
Rich Science of getting Rich right after that was so good. I read a lot of those books to just shift Yeah. The deeper self-conscious. Because until, if you have a deep, deep belief that you won't have enough or you can't have enough, um, or you'll be tossed out. Yeah. That's, that's gonna drive everything. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (00:54:17):
Yeah. I like to say media changes mindset. So like, the more you can, like if, like, if you are lacking a abundance mindset, like how can you consume some media that'll help you, like read the, the tapes, the CDs and now today like the podcasts? Yeah. The audio books or the physical books like that. Media. Like the more you listen to that, it changes mindset. Yeah. When I, when I wanted Heather to, uh, I tell the story a lot, but I was like, when I, when I wanted Heather to get on board with real estate, cause I was like, oh, this is gonna be great. We're gonna, you know, make all this money. It's gonna be, it's, it's a cool business. She's just like, yeah, it sounds like get rich quick. Like, I don't want any of that, you know, self-help stuff. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm.

(00:54:48):
. Sure. You know, gimme my job. I, you know, we'll make a good career and we're retire when we're 70. Right. Like, that was kinda like the mentality she came from. And I was there, you know, I just got a few months earlier. Right. I, I, I discovered it. So I read Rich that Port ad and I'm like, oh, that, like, this book changed my mindset. So I wanted her to read it. And she just wouldn't, like, she's like, ah, I don't read self-help books. Like, I don't wanna do that. So I finally made the deal. I couldn't pay her to do it cause we're both broke. But , I, uh, I said, okay, fine. I'll make you trade. I'll read any book you want me to read. If you read this one, doesn't matter how long it is. You tell me a book, I'm gonna read it.

(00:55:16):
And you, and she's like, any book, I'm like, any book fine. So she hands me like this 800 page Twilight . Yeah. So I read All the Twilight and then I read all of them ones in the series and uh, yeah. Oh, it's all that to good husband. Yeah. Team Jacob . Uh, but, uh, she read Richette Port and she gets done. She's like, oh yeah, this is great. I get it. Like it changed the media changed her mindset. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, so she got excited about it. And we've been on kind of the same page ever since. And yeah. So we also tried to consume media. I might do that when I wanted to eat more vegan. Like, I'm not vegan, but I wanted to eat more vegans. Sure. So I was like, well let's just watch some vegan documentaries that'll make you vegan. Cause they're just like, cause they're so, you know, you could watch a documentary on veganism and one on eating only meat, and both of 'em have a hundred percent science to back up. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Uh, and so you'll be convinced either way. Yeah. So yeah. It's like, yeah. Our brains are manipulatable. So like learn to manipulate them the in the right direction. Yeah. The way that you want. Yeah. In the right direction. Yeah. Don't let them manipulated by random forces. Yeah. Uh, but manipulate 'em in the way you want to

Kathy Fettke (00:56:14):
Or the forces that are trying to control you. Yes. Yeah. Which is the me The media.

Brandon Turner (00:56:18):
Media. The media. Media. Yeah. Will Yeah. Put you in that scarcity place. Absolutely. Oh yeah. The media, like designed to make you fearful and scared mm-hmm. , because then you're just gonna listen to more of the media, figure out what comes next. I

Rich Fettke (00:56:30):
Know. Yeah. And so many people are looking for like, just the, the how to. Yeah. You know, when you talk about wealth, you know, the wealth mindset thing or whatever it is, it's like, just tell me the facts of what I need to do, what I need to buy. Like real estate especially, you know, it's just like, how, how do I get this many doors and this instead of really looking at yourself. Yeah. And I think that's where you really get a start. It is just like, how are you operating? What's going on in here? Yeah. What's your mindset? Until you get that Right. All the, like, having a cookbook is not gonna do you anything good.

Brandon Turner (00:56:58):
Yeah. That's good. Well, let, let's shift a little bit to the real estate and digging out. I want, I might even make like a segment of the show eventually where it's gonna be like the, this is a how-to section, right? Like, there's a lot of mindset, there's a lot of stories. But I want to eventually get to, you know, as long as I've got geniuses on real estate, how does somebody get into real estate? Let's go through kind of a step-by-step. Like what should, I mean there's a million ways they do it, but teaching people today that are listening, let's say they don't have any property, they know that real estate investing is something they want to do, or at least wealth is something they want to have, like monetary wealth. What do they do? What do they start? How do they get there? I know it's a big question. So

Rich Fettke (00:57:32):
I I would say it's, you know, that's the wise investor. That's the reason I wrote it. It was not to say, not to say, but get the book. I'm saying that it's the, the hero in the, in the journey. Yeah. His name's Ryan. He's the one who's in that mindset of just like, this is the way it is. And he had no idea he'd even entertain real estate. Mm-hmm. . So I think it's really, it's about educating yourself and committing to say, I'm gonna take the next six months. I'm not gonna try to buy anything. I'm not gonna try to do anything. I'm gonna take the six months to figure out what is it that I want to invest in mm-hmm. . And become an expert in that. Because, because if you, you'll jump all over the place. It's like multi-family is the way single family's the way. Yeah. You know, self storage is the way, you know, whatever it is. It's like, so you gotta pick your lane. And I think taking six months to do that and get clear and just absorb everything you can, listen to podcasts, try to figure out what is it, what are you leaning toward? And once you choose that asset class, then really learn as much as you can and then find mentors and resources in that. Mm-hmm.

Brandon Turner (00:58:32):
That's

Kathy Fettke (00:58:32):
Good. And I, and I would say just start small again, coming back to that theme mm-hmm. , I've had people come up to me at conferences and say, I wanna syndicate. And I'm like, great. How many deals have you done? None. Okay. You're not ready. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I, I mean, maybe other people will think that's okay. I don't think that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, unless you are partnering with

Brandon Turner (00:58:51):
Someone Yes. That's the way to hijack. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You partner with somebody who's already done it. Who

Kathy Fettke (00:58:55):
If you're just have a able to bring people together. Yeah. That's, that may be your gift, but make sure you've got a real estate expert. But, you know, sometimes this just this simplest thing of maybe doing what I did in the very beginning when I was a single mom where I rented a house and I subleased two of the rooms. Yep. There you go. You've just learned how to sublease. Yeah. And that didn't take, that fed me. Absolutely. It wasn't costing me, it was bringing money in then, then when we were going through the cancer scare, well we rented out rooms in our house too. So we learned how to be landlords. Then just with our daughter, she wanted to buy a car right outside, right out of college. And we're like, if you buy a car, this is gonna ruin your debt to income ratio.

(00:59:37):
Mm-hmm. Just deal with your old car. It's still works. Talk to a lender sometimes. That's the best first step. Just find out what you can qualify for. Turns out right outta college, she could qualify for a $300,000 house. And believe it or not, that exists in Chico, California. So she talked to the lender, found out she could actually qualify, and then started, and I'm like, now start shopping. Yeah. And she was able to find a house that she could improve herself for $250,000. It was a three bedroom instead of the two bedroom apartments she was living in. So she really upgraded her life. The payment was lower, she improved that. She did a lot of the work herself, improved it, sold it for $150,000 gain, was able to then come and live near us in the Los Angeles area and use that as a down payment.

(01:00:25):
Now she's got another house. She's gonna put ADU on it. Yeah. So just taking that first step again, you, you had mentioned earlier, talking to a mortgage broker. Yeah. That's the first step. So you know what you qualify for. If you don't qualify for anything, then I, some people will say, you can use other people's money. I say maybe, but how about just make some money? Yeah. Like for me, when, when we were learning it, I, but we didn't have the extra money to, to invest. You just kind of look at your life and say, what am I good at? What could I make money at right now? Yep. And what I could make money at right then was I had this radio show. Right. So why not make that better? Really improve it, put energy in it, make it great, and then get sponsors. Yeah. Now I have some money and I could use that money as down payments. Yeah. Rather than, I mean, obviously you can JV with other people, but I, I'm just like, get a side gig. Yeah. You know, just find a way to make a little extra money. Put that aside. That'll be your investing money. That's just my advice.

Rich Fettke (01:01:22):
Yeah. And I, you know, I have a few friends who have been waiting to get into real estate for years. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, what I say to them is just get that first investment property Yep. Just one, you know, to break the ice. Cause they, they're so afraid of that. Just so it's Yeah. Get pre-qualified, buy that first investment property, even if it's like a 200,000 or $150,000 house. Then you get it, you learn it, you learn about depreciation and taxes and keeping up with things and everything. And then you can graduate and go, you know, wherever you want. Just like you started with single families. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (01:01:55):
And you know, you mentioned earlier about there's a, there's a lot of ways to get there. There there's this idea that, you know, all roads lead to Rome. There's that like, famous phrase, and it's like the Roman Empire Right. Was all spread out and, and, but every road, every major highway would eventually get to Rome. Right. So the same thing's true with, with wealth. I see it, it's like all roads lead to wealth. Mm. However mm-hmm. , if you get off the road and you, you're like, oh, well that road over there looks better. And you go over there and then you go on this road and you're like, oh, look at the, look at that one over there. There's like, you can, you can walk a million roads and never get to Rome. That's

Rich Fettke (01:02:25):
A really good

Brandon Turner (01:02:25):
Point. And stuff. You percent stay on the, the highway to wealth. You will get there. Mm-hmm. . So I say this with people all the time, is they try to, yeah, I'm gonna do real estate. And then they do it. They get on that road for a while, and then the six months in, they're like, well, I'm not wealthy yet, so I guess I better go try crypto. Yeah. Crypto. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I'm gonna go do crypto and then I'm gonna go do this thing. I'm gonna go sell Tupperware. And like, it, it's this neverending thing. And so because of that, there's, they're circling wealth and they're not going toward

Rich Fettke (01:02:51):
Wealth. Not following the journey.

Brandon Turner (01:02:52):
Yeah. So just that idea. Love that you said the ex, like what can you be an expert in? And that is so lacking in today's world. Like everyone wants, what's the lowest effort I can put in to be good at this? And you brought it up with like Yeah. Improve yourself. Like do a good job on the radio show so you can get better sponsors. Mm-hmm. , nobody's thinking that. Like, I feel like Mo so many people are just like, how, what's the least effort I can put in so I can go and relax more and make lots of money. Yeah. And they a lot of money. Yeah. And it's, it doesn't work that way, doesn't it? No. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Fascinating. All right, well let's move on to the next segment of the show. I don't have a great name yet for this. We're still working on it, .

(01:03:23):
Uh, but it's a series of three questions. The three questions that each have three parts to it. First one, and I'll ask each of you. So it's kind of, actually, there's like six questions in each, each one, right? Cause it's each of you get to answer the three. What are three things? I wanna say things. It could be a habit, a belief and action. A new routine. Something. Three things that you have changed in your life in the last 12 months, uh, that has given you a better life. So what have you done differently in the last year? What have you implemented or done that's given you a better life?

Rich Fettke (01:03:51):
Why don't you lead?

Kathy Fettke (01:03:53):
I'll lead. Um, yeah, I know, you know, we had a, a big fallout in our company last year. Mm-hmm. And I think a lot of it came from lack of transparency, even though that's one of our values. Yeah. Our core values. Mm-hmm. and also me trying to over, like, over fix things, get over-involved in things that aren't, aren't mine to do. Uh, I've, I've done that in rela personal relationships where I would jump in and try to help someone with something they didn't ask help for. So I, I think the big lesson last year was to just put my focus on the things I can control and then trust other people to do the job that I've asked them to do or whatever. If it's their life, let them live their life. It's not my life. Like, it's not my job to tell someone how to live their life or try to fix it for them. Mm-hmm. So this, this past year has been just focus on where Ike can improve and trust our employees. Trust Rich in, in his management of that. And just stay, I think it's just like, just stay out of it. Mm-hmm. I, that's the best way I can say it. Just stay out of it and focus on what the things that I can control.

Rich Fettke (01:05:02):
Mm-hmm. , I love it. I would say focusing on, just to expand on that as you're focusing on your unique ability

Kathy Fettke (01:05:08):
And my unique

Rich Fettke (01:05:09):
Ability. Yeah. What she does best, you know, that she loves doing that she's amazing at. And when you put your focus on that and you kind of just let go of the other things. Yeah.

Kathy Fettke (01:05:18):
Yeah. I, so I was probably micromanaging and being controlling and that was causing conflict between us. Cuz he is the, the c e o of the company. Yeah. And I was breathing down his neck mm-hmm. . So anyway. I trust you baby. . That's good. . Thank you.

Rich Fettke (01:05:33):
. So in that same vein, going through that, going through those challenging times and being, we were co CEOs at the time Yeah. And all this conflict, and it, it got really hard. It was the, it was the biggest strain on our marriage in 26 years mm-hmm. . And, uh, what I had to learn from it was not, I guess it just comes down to be curious. Yeah. Be curious. I was trying to come in and solve the problem, fix the problem, say this is what, this is the way you need to operate. This is what you need to do. And what I started to realize is, and really embrace was just, I'm actually gonna get a question mark tattoo on my wrist as my, as a reminder to be curious and be curious about other people. But more than anything is be curious about her. What do you need? What's going on? Tell me more. Do I fully understand you? Because I was assuming that I underst I understood her. Yeah. You know, and I would just make this assumption and then I would come up with the answer. And so Yeah. It's like being a, being a husband 1 0 1, you know? Yeah. But it took 26 years for me to learn it. . Yeah. So that's a big one. Sometimes be curious is the biggest thing for me. And it's carried over into all areas of my life. More present. All

Brandon Turner (01:06:42):
Right. Cool. What else? Anything else you've done given you a better life?

Rich Fettke (01:06:46):
Uh, yep. Um, definitely a part of that for me was, um, really committing to meditation. Okay. With an ADHD brain. Yeah. It's like I would sit down and try to meditate and my, I'd be all over the place and I'm like, I can't do this. You know, it's just like, I, I'll do it and I'll, I'll get my meditation when I hike or Sure. Something like that. And then I just started to use the calm app and I just, yeah. I love that app. Did 10 minutes a day. Yeah. And I committed to it. And now I'm on day like 460 or something like that, Uhhuh. Uh, so I had just, I got on that streak Yep. And I didn't want to break it. And just, every morning it's the first thing I do. 10 minutes and it's really, now I can quiet my mind.

(01:07:22):
That's great. It took me a while. It took me probably three or four months where I was like, oh, I'm starting to get this. Yep. And now I'm more present consistently. I don't get hooked as easily. And Yeah. And it's like, I'm way Eva much better at being able to, it's that, you know, that choice between the stimulus and response. Yep. That pause, that pause, you know, Victor Frankl said, yep. It's like, I'm so much better at pausing now and saying, how do I wanna respond to this situation? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. So instead of before I'd get stimulated and then I'd be like, I'd react. Yep. So, and then that's what massages, I mean, uh, I'm, I'm massage that too. Massage good too. But, uh, meditation has been awesome. That's great. Mm-hmm. , anything else you wanna

Kathy Fettke (01:08:03):
Add? Well, and then, uh, because of that, we've done marriage counseling before. Yeah. But not pretty steadily. But we, starting last year, we were like, all right, we need improvement in our communication. We, it took three tries. The, the first counselor I loved, cuz she seemed to be totally on my side. . Yeah. . And he's like, Nope. And then we got another one that just was way too buy the book. She wanted, you know, to Kathy, you sound upset, let's put you on some medication. Oh, she, nope, nope. You're not the one

Rich Fettke (01:08:33):
Analyzing.

Kathy Fettke (01:08:34):
Yeah. Yeah. The psychotherapist and, or like, psychologist, whatever, didn't work mm-hmm. . And then we found a relationship coach, which we just loved. And again, that coach was just curious and asked really good questions and it's been great. Gave us great exercises to

Rich Fettke (01:08:51):
Do and Yeah. Just on how we can communicate better. And he just would draw from us, you know, is there anything that you want to say? How's that feel for you? Anything? So he just facilitated an hour long conversation and we just do it once a month. So we just meet with our relationship coach. It's just like working with a business coach, you know? Yeah. And asking great questions and drawing it out.

Kathy Fettke (01:09:10):
Because sometimes in a relationship, there's one person that's just afraid to say what they really think. Yeah. And that's me. So, and he's afraid that I'm not telling him what I'm thinking because he's Right. I'm not Yeah. and, and, and so the coach creates a safe place for me to do that. I, I don't know why I need that, but I do. Mm-hmm. And he'll just say, tell Rich what you're really thinking. Oh, okay. ,

Rich Fettke (01:09:31):
And I'm ready for it, you know, and I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna react.

Brandon Turner (01:09:34):
Yeah. You're in a space, especially

Rich Fettke (01:09:35):
With someone watching me

Kathy Fettke (01:09:36):
Yeah. It's just, for whatever reason, there'll be a time when I probably don't need that, but even after 26 years, I still need that.

Brandon Turner (01:09:43):
Mm-hmm. . Yeah. You know, when, uh, and, and maybe I'm still in some thunder from when I interview them on the podcast, but Louis Hown is a girlfriend, Martha, uh, good friends of mine. They, uh, he's got a big podcast and she's a big movie star in Mexico. But they, uh, when they, they got together, they told me that from day one, they said every week, like as we're dating and whatever happens in the future, every week we will go to Mar or I mean relationship counseling from day one. Wow. And he said, we've never had a fight because of that. Wow. Because they preempted it and he made this point, or they made this point that like, that's amazing. Right? Yeah. Like, we, with business, we hire business coaches even when things aren't failing and wrong. Right. We're just like, Hey, we wanna have to get, we only have better business', hire a business coach.

(01:10:21):
Yeah. But in marriage, it's like, people only ever do it when there's a problem. Too late. Too late. Yeah. And they, they're like, why don't we just do it from day one? Mm-hmm. . And they both agreed to it and they like, they have such a great relationship because every week they have a time, a moment where they can work on their things together with somebody who can help them. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, that impacted me. And I still have not yet done that with my wife and I, but we are going to I keep saying that. Mm-hmm. , I'm going, I'm gonna do it and commit

Rich Fettke (01:10:43):
Here, here Start, start with once a month. Yeah,

Brandon Turner (01:10:45):
Exactly. Yeah. And sometimes that's the answer right. Is just do something like, let's just get Yeah. Put it out there. Try, try it. Yeah. And it might not be the first, the right person the first

Kathy Fettke (01:10:52):
Time. It, it might not be. And that's okay. And that's okay. Somebody out there mm-hmm. .

Brandon Turner (01:10:55):
Yeah. All right. Anymore on that one? Anything else you've done and you've been cold plunging.

Kathy Fettke (01:10:59):
Yeah. You know, that was, that was huge. I have a busy mind. Yeah. You know, I'm met, as I said at 10. I'm the Colby on quick start. My mind is never, ever not thinking of a new idea. Yep. Mm-hmm. . And it's, it's been hard to sleep and mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. and hard to . I overwhelm my team. And, um, so anyway, rich started the cold plunge. He's been really looking at, it's easy for us cuz our, we don't heat our pool. It's freezing. Yeah. And so we just, he just started doing it. The first time I went in, I, I went in and went out and I was like, that's, that's it. . But he kept saying, yeah, I hate this. I don't like being cold. I like being comfortable. I like Hawaii. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Warm things. And, but then he was kind of telling me the, the benefits and one of them is memory mm-hmm.

(01:11:44):
. And I just, I'm like, I said, I'm gonna be 60, I wanna have a great memory. I wanna have great energy. I, we just have a first grandkid. I expect many more. I wanna have the energy to, to take them all weekend. I didn't really feel that way with my parents. I didn't, I didn't know that they could handle our kids for more than an hour. Right. Yeah. I wanna be the, the parent that can. Yes. And um, and so that was part of it. And then also just the, apparently you sleep better. So now I can go in eight, nine. Today I did like almost 10 minutes just swimming in the cold pool. Now I feel like I could go swimming in the ocean and California's pretty cold. The ocean is cold, but I always wanna swim in it, but I never do.

(01:12:22):
Yep. So now I feel like, oh, I could go and actually enjoy that. So I think my sleep has been phenomenal really. And I think I've gone probably 20 years without great sleep. Yeah. So this morning I slept till seven 30, which I don't know, that to me that's like fully sleeping in. Yeah. That's great. I'm usually up by fives, so, so whatever it is that seems to help me to, to be able to overcome something you hate doing. Yep. But you know, it's good for you. Mm-hmm. , if you can do it in one thing, you can do it in another thing. Yeah. So I think the training of doing something so incredibly uncomfortable as being freezing Yeah. Um, for 5, 6, 7, 10, 10 minutes ha is building this inner strength that will have me be able to take on things that normally I would just not wanna do. Yeah.

Rich Fettke (01:13:09):
So cool. Yeah. Then I would say the un the one other thing this past year that we did that has been a game changer for us for a better life is we are, um, building this development up in Park City. Oh, okay. Uh, single family homes and town homes and building out this whole, we syndicated it and those, one of the town homes just looked amazing and we wanted to help fund the project and infuse some cash. So we bought one of the town homes just thinking it'll be a cool short-term rental and we love to ski so we can go up there. But that's been a game changer family-wise. It's like my mom came out from upstate New York and we all gathered as a whole family and going skiing together, going tubing together and all that. So I mean, that's cool. Yeah. So that kind of like that lifestyle investment and then it's a short-term rental when we're not there. So it's kind of like having that short term rental and this lifestyle investment. Our lifestyle asset has been really awesome over this last year. I love it a lot to our life.

Kathy Fettke (01:14:03):
Yeah. It was just kind of an awareness of, we, we have these, like I said, these little houses in Ohio that we're never gonna visit. Yeah. And they, you know, are they ever really, I don't know. It's, it's just a different mentality to be like, well, what if we just put this into something we would use. Yeah. It's still going to not totally cash flow, but some mm-hmm. , but most of our investments are for the long term anyway. Yeah. So why not have some properties that cash flow a little bit? Um, but that we get to use and are in amazing places and create memories. So yeah. We're kind of like in the lifestyle investing. That's been a good one. Beautiful. Kind of like with our, our main home, it's mostly paid for by two Airbnbs that we have on it. Mm-hmm. That's beautiful. So get to kind of live our life of our dreams, but it's, it's covered by it helps a lot now. Shelter rentals. Yeah. That's

Brandon Turner (01:14:46):
Great. I love it. Mm-hmm. . All right. Next question then for each of you three books that have most impacted your life.

Kathy Fettke (01:14:53):
I think Rich mentioned earlier, science of Getting Rich was really a game changer for me. That

Rich Fettke (01:14:57):
Was a big one. Mm-hmm. , I would say the way of the Superior Man was a really good one. Uh, David Data. Okay. Uh, it's all about how to better understand your, your, your woman , and be a superior man, meaning just grounded, loving, acknowledging all that. So that, that was a big one for me. Mm-hmm. , what else for you?

Kathy Fettke (01:15:17):
Uh, a second one for me. Um, oh, I can't think of the name of it. You go

Rich Fettke (01:15:23):
. I mean, obviously Rich Dad, poor Dad was great for both of us. You know, that was a, that was a game changer for mindset, psychology of Money actually recently. Yeah. That was a really good Morgan Housel. Yeah. That had a, that was a big influence on the Wise Investor book. Oh yeah. Just reading through that first and then, you know, it definitely wove some of that into, into the Story. That was a great one. That's great. Uh, I mean, think and Grow Rich, if we wanna go back, that was one of the first books. Yeah. I, I read that, you know, before Rich Dad Poor Dadd. Yeah. Obviously it's written in 1937 . Yeah. That was a big one. Yeah's a old one. Yeah. Atomic Habits was great. Our core values spell Atomic. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. So when I saw that book, it was like, it just came out and I'm like, atomic Habits. Ooh. I like habits and, and this is Atomic, you know? Yeah. And then it's like to see what that book's done as far as sales and everything, it's so, I'm so stoked for him. Yeah. He's

Brandon Turner (01:16:09):
Killing it. Can I look at like, the top 10 li book list of like, Amazon, like all books? Yeah. It's like Atomic Habits always like one, two, or three. It's

Rich Fettke (01:16:16):
Just huge. Yeah. And a great book. But that's, so that's great cuz it's, it's so in alignment. Yeah. And back in 98 I wrote a book called Focus and it was a guide to clarity and achievement and it was so much about habits Yeah. And, you know, little things that add up to make a big difference. So Atomic Habits, I'm like, it was just nodding. That's cool. The whole time as I read it.

Brandon Turner (01:16:33):
Yeah. When I wrote the Intention Journal for Bigger Pockets, it was a journal I a ton of the research over that whole year. I spent a long time researching like habits and actions and all that. And I really based a lot of the science and psychology of that book off of James Clear's blog, which he then spent, I mean, this is before Tom Habits came out, he just mm-hmm. would blog about habits and actions and he had an amazing website and he would go and look at all the data and, and what his blog was eventually became Atomic Habits. Yeah. So in a way, the intention journal, which interesting then The Better Life Tribe has been, you know, pulled off of the, you know, the intent. Basically, the Better Life Tribe is off the same methodology. So in a way, the Better Life Tribe is like a great-great grandson of atomic habit.

Rich Fettke (01:17:12):
I get it. Yeah.

Brandon Turner (01:17:13):
I love that. It's very, very similar. In fact, when we talk about it very similar, it's

Kathy Fettke (01:17:16):
Sounds cool. A, a really good parenting book is love and logic. Okay. Love and logic. It's, it's a Christian based. Okay. Uh, but it, it really helps with the disciplining of your kids in a really kind and loving way.

Brandon Turner (01:17:28):
That's good. Yeah. Because we're dealing with, uh, meltdowns dearly

Kathy Fettke (01:17:31):
Ev everyone is Yeah. But the,

Brandon Turner (01:17:32):
The,

Kathy Fettke (01:17:33):
The little exercises they have on their, it changes everything.

Brandon Turner (01:17:36):
I'm gonna buy it today. . That's great. All right. Uh, final question of this kind of three part thing. Who, let's go with a leader question. I'm, I'm playing with different questions I ask here, but three leaders in history could be present, could be passed that you admire and look up to and why?

Rich Fettke (01:17:52):
Hmm. I mean, first one for me is Gandhi. Okay. Yeah. And just, it's a huge influence in the sense of that, um, the understanding, the, the, the not fighting the focus on peace Yeah. And the commitment at a soul level to walk the talk basically mm-hmm. Yeah. No matter what happens. Yeah. Still walking the talk.

Kathy Fettke (01:18:19):
I'm gonna say Abigail Adams , it's kind of random, but they are my ancestors that Oh, no way. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And, um, she was just, just to imagine what they went through at that time where they fought so hard for, for freedom and, and to just be able to create their own world and the, the strength that she had. A lot of people, of course, talk about her husband, but she held down the farm, like literally held down the farm. And I just think back like, what a strong, powerful woman to be supporting her husband and leading a whole new country. Yeah. While she was kind of leading the, the family and writing him every day and supporting him. I don't know. I just, I love it. I, I I love her.

Rich Fettke (01:18:59):
Yeah. That's great. Other leaders. Yeah. There's, I mean, over the past couple years I've been really into stoic philosophy in stoic, these stoic approach. So, you know, it's hard to pick, you know, one of them Yeah. You know, from Socrates to her colitis. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I'm gonna just, the, the, the stoic leaders. Okay.

Brandon Turner (01:19:18):
You can summarize that and their

Rich Fettke (01:19:19):
Approach and Yeah. Just kind of taking personal responsibility for your life and Yeah. Being your best self. Yeah. That's huge.

Kathy Fettke (01:19:27):
Love it. I'm gonna say Kathy McGee, who is the founder of Operation Smile, and do you know what that is?

Brandon Turner (01:19:33):
Yeah. I'm not the one that fixes the, the

Rich Fettke (01:19:35):
Cle.

Kathy Fettke (01:19:36):
Yeah. Her husband is a doctor and she just was living this beautiful, wealthy life in, in the Los Angeles area and wasn't really feeling fulfilled. And I, we met her, we had dinner with her, and I can't remember the origin story, but she took this, this like, I, I think they traveled and, and she saw the pain and suffering out there mm-hmm. . But for her to come back and create an organization, she plugged into so many celebrities and just kept at it. Kept at it, and they're still at it. And they have changed the lives of so many kids, because I don't know if you know, but if in certain countries, if you have a cleft palate, they think that you are Satan. Satan, and they'll just kill you. Yeah. Or you're just tossed from society. Yeah. So she, they go in and do these hundred dollars surgeries and change this person's life. Yeah. So Real Wealth has donated and we've done, I don't know, we've helped with thousands of surgeries. Mm-hmm. That's amazing. And it's so exciting. Krista, our daughter actually went to Thailand on one of their missions and that's, that's how we learned it. Babies. Yeah. She was the one who discovered it, but she would hold the babies before and after surgery and, you know, just like, just a very much, she's, she's just such a little Mother Teresa, which would be my third. Okay. Mother Teresa . I love it. So there's my three. There you

Brandon Turner (01:20:50):
Go. Mm-hmm. . All right. You wanna stick with your, your stoic leaders for two, or you wanna got one more? I

Rich Fettke (01:20:55):
Think that, I was gonna say Victor Frankl, but he's, you know, he's so influenced by the stoics Yeah. As well. Yeah. So it's more of that philosophy than just one person. It's just that idea, that mindset, that approach.

Brandon Turner (01:21:05):
Yeah. Yeah. Very cool. All right guys, well, uh, two more questions. One, what are you excited about in the future? What projects or things are you working on? What are you excited about?

Kathy Fettke (01:21:13):
I'm excited about building the mastermind side side of our business. Okay. I, I think we're late to the table, but at the same time, I know that I have a lot, um, just a lot of experience I'd love to share. And like I said, I, I wanna plug into what I think is an untapped market as this women's leadership really for some reason. And I think the reason sitting next to me, Yeah. I've been able to excel as a leader in, in real estate. And I, I know it's because I had a, you know, it's been a, it's been a man's world in business for a long time. Mm-hmm. . So I need, you know, rich was able to help me understand that man's world. Yeah. And I, I wanna give that to other women. It's like, how do you brand yourself? How do you get out there? How do you get on stage? Yeah. How do you get people to listen to you on a podcast? You know, like all of that stuff.

Brandon Turner (01:21:59):
Yeah. And, and the reason I say that, like, I don't think you're anywhere close to the late to the party. You know, first of all, at bigger pockets when we launched the podcast, like back, you know, we, whatever, I was like, yeah, we're late to the party. We missed the podcast boat. Like it's, we're we're too late. And then it was like, we really were at the beginning of it. Mm-hmm. . Right. But one thing that Alex, who's, you know, director here of the podcast, we talk a lot about, and he, he talks a lot about is as religion in America has, and I'm gonna steal all your, uh, your lines there, Alex, uh, the real star of the show, you're the real star of the show. Yes. . Yes. So as religion has dropped away in America, largely organized religion, and as like bowling has dropped away, and as all these community things have dropped away mm-hmm.

(01:22:36):
Americans are, I mean, humans are built for community in a large way. Yeah. And so what, what we have pos, postulated, theorized is just this conversated about, conversated about, thank you. Uh, is this resurgence of community things. Mm-hmm. and that's where like the the Better Life Tribe. I think that's one of the reasons we wanted to launch with 200 people and we launched with 1200, like the first week or whatever, 1100 it was. Because like people are like, oh, that's a group of people I get to go and get together with. Like, that's cool, that's new. And it's like, well, in fact very old, but we just haven't had that in America for a while. Yeah. And so I think like this idea of masterminds is just beginning. Mm-hmm. I think we're gonna see a lot more, uh, tribalism in a good way. Mm-hmm. Oh, interesting. Yeah. In, in America as we, we need to bond, and especially in the more digital world mm-hmm. , uh, we need to bond in real life with people. So I think you're just, the wave is just building up.

Rich Fettke (01:23:25):
I love it. Thank you. Love it,

Brandon Turner (01:23:27):
. All right. Last question from me. Where would you best, like people who wanna learn more about you, uh, where should they go?

Rich Fettke (01:23:36):
Probably just real wealth.com,

Brandon Turner (01:23:38):
Real

Rich Fettke (01:23:38):
Wealth.com, real wealth.com. Pretty, pretty simple. Yep. That's our website. That's how we serve people. I mean, social media is just Rich Ky Kathy Feki, but yeah. Realo dot com's best.

Brandon Turner (01:23:48):
All right, sounds good. Well, thank you guys. You're amazing. I love you both. You're awesome. Thank you too. Love you too.

Rich Fettke (01:23:52):
Thank you so much. Bye man.

Brandon Turner (01:23:55):
And that is the show. Thank you everyone for tuning into another episode of A Better Life with Brandon Turner. I hope you enjoyed the insights and the wisdom, uh, brought to you today on the show. If you found value in this episode, please consider leaving us a rating and a review on your favorite podcast platform. Uh, your feedback actually does help us improve the show. We look at the feedback, I look at the feedback, and we can reach more people with our message of living a better life. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Follow me on social beardie, Brandon, and hey, before I go, this show is all about the habits, actions, and beliefs that can give you a better life. But in case you're interested and you want to know my opinion on what it takes to live the best life ever, and that includes some of my kind of weird spiritual beliefs, maybe check out a better life.com/best life, a better life.com/best life. Thank you again for listening, and I will see you next time on a Better Life

Brandon Turner (01:24:47):
With Brandon Turner.